Freida Pinto doesn't get Dev Patel's jokes

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George Lopez jokes about his cancellation: 'I'm fine, my goddesses are a wreck'

 
George Lopez seems to be taking the news of his TBS show's cancellation pretty well, judging by his monologue Wednesday (Aug. 10) night.

TBS decided Wednesday to cancel "Lopez Tonight," which ran for two seasons but was struggling in the ratings. The final show airs Thursday. Lopez devoted a couple minutes of his monologue (you can also watch here) to the news, joking that "We're not saying goodbye. We're saying -- cable doesn't work."

He also made reference to Charlie Sheen getting canned from "Two and a Half Men": "People ask me, what are you going to do? Like every TV star before me, I'm gonna find some crack. I'm gonna get on the pipe, lose that unwanted 110 pounds I've been trying to lose. ... I'm fine, but my goddesses are a wreck. ... They left me."

Lopez also says he's grateful Sony has decided to make a sequel to "The Smurfs," in which he does the voice of Grouchy. "So today I lost some work because I'm brown, but also I got some work because I'm blue," he says.

Lopez's fellow TBS host, Conan O'Brien, expressed his sympathy for Lopez and the show's crew on "Conan" Wednesday night. "Had it not been for George being so incredibly supportive of me I would not have come to TBS," he said. "... Tonight all of our thoughts are with George and his staff and crew."

The final "Lopez Tonight" airs at midnight ET Thursday.

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HOH’s One-Minute Recess: Recycled Jokes

By Jonathan EasleyRoll Call StaffAug. 10, 2011, 2:47 p.m.

Younger siblings are used to hand-me-down clothes and furniture.

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G2 Kids: how to be a wild child

How to go crazy in the country. Plus games, jokes and quizzes

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Shane Warne is all natural, jokes comedian Dave Hughes

Thursday, August 11 2011, 07:40 BST Dave Hughes has dressed up to impersonate the newly "slender" Shane Warne.

The Australian comedian, who is best known for his roles on Nova radio and TV show The 7pm Project, was photographed yesterday with sprayed yellow hair and wearing the same clothes as Warne in a recent picture.

After the images were published, Hughes joked to the Herald Sun: "I'm sick of everyone having a crack at Warnie. Both of our new looks are all natural."

Warne recently hit back at reports that he has had cosmetic procedures and likes wearing eyeliner, saying: "Questions re facelift/Botox etc are absolute rubbish." He also admitted that his smooth complexion was thanks to him using Estee Lauder beauty products.

Model Elizabeth Hurley, who has been dating cricketer Warne since late last year, recently joked about the alleged "evil regime" she has devised for her boyfriend, writing on her Twitter page: "I've decided to take full responsibility for SW's remarkable weight loss."

Warne has also defended Hurley over accusations that she forced him into getting in shape.

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Phyllis Diller’s joke file becomes a Smithsonian exhibit

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No joke, Livingston wins ‘crying towel’ award

By Derrick Mahone
dmahone@news-daily.com

Armed with their best one-liners, jokes and put-downs, each of the nine Clayton County football coaches stepped to the podium during the annual Rotary Club Of Clayton County Crying Towel luncheon to poke fun at their teams.

Morrow first-year coach J. Livingston took top honors in winning the award, a blue engraved towel. A longtime basketball coach in the county, Livingston inherits a Morrow squad that returns nine total starters from a team that finished with a 2-8 record last season.

“I’ve noticed there’s a big difference in a football and basketball,” Livingston began his short speech. “A football doesn’t bounce. When it (football) is dropped on the ground, everybody starts hollering, ‘Fumble!’”

But it was probably Livingston’s story about his barber’s parrot that impressed the Rotarians.

Livingston said he visited his barber three times, and each time the barber would step out of the room, his parrot would shout, “Morrow can’t win. Morrow can’t win.” On the fourth visit, Livingston confronted his barber about the parrot. Livingston said the barber took the parrot in the back and scolded it.

After the barber left the room again, Livingston said the parrot looked and him and said, “You know what.”

Drew coach Jarrett Laws was perhaps the most creative as he wrote a poem to poke fun at his team. He had won the last two.

But for the most part, it was just old-fashioned one-liners that kept most of the crowd at the National Archives Building in Morrow laughing.

“I’m not good at telling jokes,” Mount Zion coach Jamie Aull told the gathering of principals, athletics directors and Rotarians. “But if you want to see a joke, just come out and watch my team play.”

At Mundy’s Mill, according to coach Peniel Dany, things have gotten so bad that the school’s custodian has been drawing up plays for him to try.

“This guy is supposed to be cleaning the school, but he comes to me with this sheet of plays,” said Dany, who held up a sheet of paper with some plays sketched on it. “Things have gotten so bad that when I went into a region meeting before the start of practice, and coaches are sitting there flipping a coin to see who will have the benefit of playing Mundy’s Mill for homecoming.”

Edmund Coley takes over a Forest Park program that has had nine different coaches in the past 12 seasons. The former Locust Grove offensive coordinator offered a peace offering for those who happen to run into a Forest Park player in the community.

“If you see a kid that says he plays football for Forest Park, just tell him, ‘Bless your soul,’ ” Coley said.

Al Hughes has won a few Crying Towel Awards during his tenure at both Lovejoy and Jonesboro, but the coach now says that can be a bad omen.

“I’ve done some research, and several times after the coach has won this award, he was fired the next season,” Hughes said. “I’m trying my best not to win this award.”

Known throughout the Southern Crescent as Lovejoy University, because it has produced several Div. I players over the last few years, Hughes said that will not be the case this season. He quipped that his team was small and slow.

To illustrate his point, Hughes brought a small replica helmet to the podium and said it belongs to his biggest player.

“Please take it easy on us this season, we don’t have any players,” Hughes told his coaching counterparts.

But he will get no sympathy from new North Clayton coach Max Wiltz, who has been trying to replace several assistants because of a new county policy that restricts the use of community coaches.

“I’m Max Wiltz, the head football coach, offensive coordinator, defensive coordinator, bus driver, water boy,” he joked.
For most of the coaches the joking stops this weekend, when they begin playing preseason scrimmages.

“I can’t wait,” Deny said.

And neither can the custodian.

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Camille Grammer Jokes About Ex Kelsey's Small Manhood

Talk about hitting somebody below the belt.

PHOTOS: Hellish Housewives romances

In a recent promo for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' second season, Camille Grammer takes a jab at her ex-husband Kelsey Grammer's manhood.

"Big hands, big feet, big disappointment," Camille says in the clip, alluding to 46-year-old Kelsey's penis size.

VIDEO: See Camille break down over Kelsey's affair

When asked by TMZ to elaborate, 42-year-old Camille confirmed that the comment was indeed about her ex-husband. "I had that for 13 years, unfortunately," she explained.

PHOTOS: Biggest Beverly Hills Housewives bombshells

Things have pretty nasty between Kelsey and Camille, who are both seeking primary custody of their two children, Mason, 9, and Jude, 6. After 13 years of marriage, the couple's divorce was finalized on February 10. Kelsey wed flight attendant Kayte Walsh 16 days later in New York City.

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Seattle Mariners Playing Spoiler To NESN Nation's Hilarious Planned Jokes

 

Just when you think you have a great piece of comedy lined up, the Seattle Mariners have to go out and make a game of things.

Sure, it may look on paper like a mismatch between the Red Sox and Mariners as they square off in a late-night battle in Seattle, but it has not turned out that way so far on Friday night.

NESN Nation's Nate Hinchey had a funny bit planned, but instead is dealing with the reality of a closer-than-expected game.

Check out the video to see what Nate wanted to say but couldn't thanks to those pesky Mariners.

Check out the live chat on our in-game page:?Join NESN Nation

Follow us on Twitter:?@NESNNation

Like us on Facebook:?http://www.facebook.com/nesnnation

Want more of our host, Nate Hinchey? You can follow him on Twitter?here.

Dan Duquette is the producer of NESN Nation and an assistant editor for NESN.com. Having grown up around the Boston sports scene, Dan graduated from Boston College and joined NESN in summer 2011. Follow Dan on Twitter.

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Psychologist helps Westwood relax for major quest

A jovial Lee Westwood was cracking jokes and adopting a light-hearted manner ahead of the 93rd PGA Championship, relaxing after his first-ever consultations with a psychologist.

The 38-year-old Englishman, hungry to claim his first major title this week at Atlanta Athletic Club, consulted with psychologist Bob Rotella in hopes of finding the missing ingredient to finally bring home a major trophy.

"I haven't really worked with a psychologist at all throughout my career so it just made sense to go and consult somebody on it," Westwood said. "I think Bob is regarded as the best."

World No. 2 Westwood has changed his attitude entering this major compared to past ones, adopting a less pressured tone even though his desire has not dimmed for major crowns.

"A lot more light-hearted, relaxed. Difficult to put into words really," Westwood said. "Try and play the tournament like I don't care, really.

"It's working. The light bulb has gone on."

Along those lines, Westwood said he wants to improve on his putting this week by not trying so hard.

"You will see a routine that I am comfortable with but you will see me not trying," Westwood said. "There are no words in the English language to articulate it any better. I've been trying to think of some but I can't."

Among the targets of Westwood's jokes was Chubby Chandler, his manager and the manager of the year's three prior major winners - South African Charl Schwartzel at the Masters and Northern Irishmen Rory McIlroy at the US Open and Darren Clarke at the British Open.

Chandler has said he hopes Westwood is the one of his clients who completes the "Chubby Slam" with a PGA title.

"I'm not impressed with his (Chandler) preparation," Westwood said. "I've seen him drinking a bit. He's not in the gym. Haven't seen him on the range yet. I wouldn't hold out much hope for him.

"He doesn't function well in the heat. He drinks a lot, but not water, unless you count tonic water."

Westwood has finished in the top three at six of the past 14 majors, including runner-up efforts at last year's Masters and British Open and thirds at the 2008 and 2011 US Opens, the 2009 British Open and the 2009 PGA.

Asked about the notion he might be the best player never to win a major, Westwood poked fun at himself in reply.

"It's good to be the best at something I suppose," he said. "I suppose it's a compliment in a way. At least I'm good at something."

Westwood has tried to calm himself when it comes to such labels and enjoying the challenge of winning a major without being overwhelmed by the pressure and tension attached.

"I've done all the hard work now, done it for 20 years," Westwood said. "It's time to just relax and let it flow.

"You can get yourself into the position but when you get into those positions just enjoy it and have a free and clear mind and play like it doesn't really mean anything, just laugh it off really, and try to have fun out there.

"That's the mentality I'm trying to get back to."

Westwood imagines himself playing like his son facing a 10-foot putt at the Par-3 Contest played on the eve of the Masters.

"He wasn't thinking about whether it was square or taking it back far enough," Westwood said. "That's just how kids do and that's the mentality I'm trying to get back into with my golf, just kind of free wheeling."

Westwood shared 44th at the 2001 PGA Championship played at the same Atlanta course, but was shocked when told he had made the cut a decade ago.

"I made the cut? Really? You sure?" Westwood said. "Shows how much attention I pay."

Showed he had indeed made the cut, Westwood amended his reply: "I played nicely in 2001, shot a couple of 68s, really loved the course. Good memories."

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George Lopez jokes while Conan mourns cancellation

George Lopez faced his audience last night for the first time since TBS announced that Thursday’s show will be his final episode. The audience booed after Lopez shared the sad news, but chuckles won out after Lopez revealed his plans for the future. “Like every TV star before me, I’ma find some crack. I’ma get on the pipe!,” he joked, at Charlie Sheen’s expense. “Lose that unwanted 110 pounds I been trying to lose. But I’m taking it good, I’m straight, believe me. I’m fine. My goddesses… are a wreck. They left me. I’m a losing teeth.” Watch the clip here or below.

 

Later in the night, Conan O’Brien, whose heralded arrival at TBS shifted Lopez to a later timeslot, honored his gracious neighbor and mourned the loss of the show. “Had it not been for George being so incredibly supportive of me I would not have come to TBS,” O’Brien said after the first commercial break. “It makes me really sad that TBS and George could not work this out … so tonight all of our thoughts are with George and his staff and his crew.”

Lopez is hitting the road, literally. He and Carlos Santana are going on tour together, beginning Sept. 3. In hindsight, though, was this parting of the ways inevitable once Lopez was pushed back to accommodate Conan?

Read more:
Five memorable moments from ‘Lopez Tonight’
TBS cancels ‘Lopez Tonight’
Conan O’Brien surprises George Lopez with Spanish skills, a mariachi band

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Sebastian lightning victim, who had no pulse, jokes bolt gave him 'super powers'

 Photo by Photo provided

Contributed Photo Travis Lamperski, (left) his father Richard Lamperski and wife Shelly Lamperski at a Father's Day celebration in 2008.

SEBASTIAN — Shelly Lamperski pounded on her husband's chest as their boat circled in the Indian River Lagoon just after a rogue lightning bolt struck him mid-afternoon Sunday.

She repeatedly said, "Don't leave me. Don't leave," according to family members. But Travis Lamperski did, for a while.

The jolt of electricity stopped his breathing and heart. It damaged an ear drum and a kidney. He turned pale. His eyes were closed.

Within minutes, he was put on a dock at Suzy's Tiki Bar and a bystander, Barb Milligan, a nurse from Sebastian, performed CPR until his pulse resumed.

Emergency personnel rushed the unconscious man to Sebastian River Medical Center. Then he was flown to Orlando Regional Medical Center.

His father, Richard Lamperski of Micco, and his wife followed in a car.

"It was long, silent trip," said the father, who was on the boat when the lightning struck.

The day had begun merrily with lots of chatter.

Shelly and Travis Lamperski were visiting from Pittsburgh, where he works as a chiropractor. And his father, of Micco, excitedly took them for an outing in his new boat, a 17-foot outboard.

They went to the Sebastian Inlet and ate lunch. Then they noticed storm clouds in the distance and decided to play it safe and head back to a dock by Suzy's Tiki Bar on Indian River Drive where Richard Lamperski works.

"We laughed about how we missed the storm," he said. In sight of the dock a single lightning bolt struck about 3 p.m.

The bolt hit 30 feet from Travis Lamperski and passed through the water. The boat was fiberglass. But the current went through the boat's motor, metal steering cables and into the wheel he held, instantly knocking him out.

His wife was in the front of the 17-foot boat at the time the lightning hit. When she turned around, her 34-year-old husband was just sitting motionless with his arms stretched outright, "like Jesus," his father said.

As his father recalled, Shelly Lamperski emotionally pleaded, "Don't leave me. I love you. We have a (18-month-old) daughter."

And she pounded his chest.

Each year lightning kills about 25 people in the United States and many more are severely injured, according to federal reports. And Central Florida is known as the nation's lightning capital.

Richard Lamperski remained level-headed. He voluntarily served in a combat role in the Vietnam War. He took the steering wheel of the outboard boat, which was going in circles. He gunned the engine and headed for dock at Suzy's Tiki Bar.

He kept yelling, "Call 911, call 911."

Initially people at the bar didn't hear the pleas.

The lighting hit about 100 yards from the bar, startling the 100 customers gathered there for customer appreciation day. Bartender Renee Francis screamed and jumped because of the loud crack that shook the air. But then she and the others settled down. They hadn't seen what had happened in the boat.

Finally Francis heard her co-workers yelling.

People rushed out and lifted Travis Lamperski onto the dock and Milligan began CPR. "She brought my son back to life." Richard Lamperski said, "He was dead. I am so grateful for what she did."

Travis Lamperski has regained most of his consciousness and his family hopes he will be released from the hospital Friday. But he has no memory of what happened, according to his family. All he recalls is being in a boat and then in Orlando.

He is joking "about how the lightning bolt gave him super powers," his father said.

And the father quips about naming his boat "Lucky Strike."

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George Lopez Jokes -- I Was Fired 'Because I'm Brown'

George Lopez wasn't afraid to talk about his show getting canceled on "Lopez Tonight" yesterday -- but he told the crowd that he was being fired because of the color of his skin.

Lopez -- whose voice was featured in the "Smurfs" movie -- was talking about how Sony has greenlit a "Smurfs" sequel during his monologue ... and quipped, "So today I lost some work because I'm brown, but I got some work because I'm blue!"

Is Lopez REALLY blaming race ... or was he just trying to crack a bad joke?

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The other side of the bar

SOUTH BEND - Sometimes, when the alcohol is flowing and loud jokes and innuendoes are filling the air, Madelyn Larkin employs a trick of the trade.

She turns down her hearing aids and goes about her business.

For 45 years, that business has been serving at the Maennechor Club near the East Race, first as a waitress toting beers to bowlers in the basement’s four lanes, eventually working her way to the bar. On Friday two days before she turns 90, she’ll officially hand out her last beer and mix her last rum and Coke there.

She hates to quit, she says tearfully, but it’s time. Since her husband of 69 years, Sam, died last Thanksgiving, life hasn’t been the same. But she’ll miss the people she’s met here.

People like trustee Kendall Griffey, whose 18-year-old son is like Larkin’s own grandson. And trustee Ray Owens, who’s known her for almost 40 years. And Patti Sellers, and Bill Mabry, who join several others in raising their glasses and saying “Hear, hear!” when Owens toasts, “She’s been one hell of an asset to this club.”

And then in the next breath, they tease her about having “sticky fingers.” It’s funny precisely because everyone knows their white-haired barkeep doesn’t lie, and she doesn’t steal. She’s heard a lot of beer-driven confessions, but she doesn’t tell tales. (Here, she tugs an imaginary zipper across her lips.)

Yet she can dish out as good as she gets.

After Larkin retires, she tells Mabry, people can come to her house anytime to visit.

“You got beer?” he asks.

“I’ve got a refrigerator full of beer,” she says, timing perfect. “But I’ve only got two for you.”

‘Madelyn would have won’

Madelyn Deardorff met Sam Larkin at a high school roller skating party. He attended Central; she was a sophomore at Woodrow Wilson. She promised her parents she’d finish high school before they’d marry. And she did.

Sam worked at Studebaker and later retired as the Zamboni driver for the city’s parks department. After their two children were grown, she began hanging out more with him at the club.

When Sam’s many medical problems began to lead to kidney issues at the end of his life, Madelyn spent every day by his side for six weeks. Here, she tears up again at the thought of the long marriage she misses keenly.

Once, she lost her wedding rings for three months, finally discovering them while sweeping some popcorn kernels from under the machine at the bar.

“Everybody has fights, but we never had any knock-down, drag-out fights,” she says.

“But if they had,” Griffey says, lightening the mood again, “Madelyn would have won.”

Scotch and dentures

“Maennechor” means men’s choir in German. But these days, Griffey says, most of the singing happens only late at night when the beer has been flowing.

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5 things you need to know for Friday

TAMPA BAY, Fla. - Here are five things you need to know happening in Florida on Friday, August 12.

(1) Florida Sales Tax Holiday

Back-to-school shoppers can save money throughout the State of Florida with the start of the sales tax holiday on Friday.

No sales tax or local option taxes will be collected on sales of clothing, footwear, certain accessories and school supplies now through Sunday at midnight.

The tax exemption applies to each eligible item of clothing selling for $75 or less and eligible school supply items selling for $15 or less.

Clothing means any article intended to be worn on or about the body. The exemption does not include watches, watchbands, jewelry, handkerchiefs or sporting equipment like skis, swim fins, inline skates or skateboards.

School supplies means notebook paper, pens, pencils, markers, erasers, crayons, notebooks, legal pads, binders, lunch boxes, construction paper, folders, poster board, poster paper, composition books, scissors, cellophane tape, glue, paste, rulers, computer disks, protractors, compasses, and calculators.

The exemption does not apply to sales of clothing or school supplies sold at a theme park, airport, entertainment complex, hotel, timeshare complex, or motel.

For more information on the sales tax holiday, visit the Florida Department of Revenue website at dor.myflorida.com .

(2) Alline Avenue Area Drainage Improvement Project

Tampa Mayor Bob Buckhorn will be joined by community leaders and neighborhood residents for a groundbreaking ceremony on Friday to mark the start of construction of the Alline Avenue Area Drainage Improvement Project.

The project will help alleviate flooding within the neighborhood bounded by Bayshore Boulevard, MacDill Avenue, Chapin Avenue and Coachman Avenue. The area is subject to frequent flooding during heavy rains.

The project includes the construction of a storm water pump station, replacement of undersized storm water pipes, and the construction of additional water inlets on MacDill Avenue.

The $4.8 million construction project is scheduled to be completed by December 2012.

For more information, click here .

(3) Curiosity rover displayed

NASA scientists are displaying the next Mars rover at Kennedy Space Center for members of the media on Friday.

Curiosity will use ten science instruments to investigate whether microbes ever lived an area inside the Gale crater on Mars or if conditions inside the crater were favorable for life.

The rover's drill will pull samples from the interiors of rocks. Then instrument on Curiosity will analyze them to determine what the environment was on Mars millions of years ago and look for the presence of life-related chemicals.

The rover will also include color cameras, sensors to monitor the weather and radiation, and a laser to analyze rocks from a distance.

The Mars Science Laboratory, as the project is officially named, is scheduled to launch aboard an Atlas V rocket from the Cape Canaveral Air Force Station on November 25.

For more information, visit www.nasa.gov/msl/ .

(4) Caroline Rhea comedy show

Comedian Carolina Rhea brings her comedy show to Treasure Island at Friday night.

Rhea is best known for playing Aunt Hilda on Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Drew Carey's girlfriend on The Drew Carey Show, and voicing the character of Linda Flynn in Disney's Phineas and Ferb.

She also hosted her own talk show, The Caroline Rhea Show, and was the first host on The Biggest Loser.

Rhea got her start on television with appearances on MTV's Half-Hour Comedy Hour, Comic Strip Live and Caroline's Comedy Hour.

Rhea takes to the stage at the Club at Treasure Island at 9:00 p.m. For more information or to purchase tickets, call (727) 376-4511 or visit www.theclubti.com .

To learn more about Caroline Rhea, visit her official website at www.carolinerhea.com .

(5) Buccaneers vs. Chiefs

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers open their 2011 preseason season in Kansas City on Friday night.

The Bucs are looking to build upon their impressive 2010 season when they went 10-6 despite low expectations and a roster full of young players.

Tampa Bay head coach Raheem Morris does not plan on playing his starters for too long. Bucs Quarterback Josh Freeman, who is a native of the Kansas City area, is expected to play about 20 plays tonight.

Last year the Bucs beat the Chiefs 20-15 in a pre-season game at Raymond James Stadium. The last time the two clubs met during the regular season was at Arrowhead Stadium in 2008 when the Buccaneers triumphed by a score of 30-27 in overtime.

Bucs players should feel right at home as the weather is forecast to be in the 80s with a fifty percent chance of rain.

Kickoff is scheduled for 8:00 p.m. The game will be televised nationally by FOX.

For more information about the Buccaneers, visit www.buccaneers.com .

Copyright 2011 Scripps Media, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

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Review: At Jeff Dunham show, dummies get the last laugh

Among professional comics, Jeff Dunham is in a class by himself.

He’s far-and-away the most successful ventriloquist working today (can you name another?). But he also has a unique style that mixes observational humor and potty jokes with questionable racial material. And it’s all about as deep as you’d expect from bunch of dummies.

The tight-lipped comedian opened this year’s Illinois State Fair Grandstand concerts on Friday with an 80-minute performance before several thousand fans. Dunham is the first comedian to headline a Grandstand show in years (Bill Engvall opened for Clint Black in 2004).

He got in a few good zingers at the fairground setting.

“What is this, a show on a budget?” said Walter, Dunham’s grouchy old man puppet. “There’s not a roof, there’s no chairs — your career is zooming.

“They’re standing in dirt, for God’s sake,” Walter said, referring to the people standing on the track. “What are we, opening up for a drag race?”

Walter, unhappily married for more than 40 years, cracked a few jokes about Dunham’s divorce from his wife nearly three years ago.

“You can leave your toilet seat up all the time?” Walter asked with envy. “I’d hot glue mine open.”

Dunham is a master at quickly shifting between characters — during the finale he had three going at once. But the best parts of the show came from his skillful manipulation of the puppets’ faces.

I don’t know how it looked from hundreds of feet back in the Grandstand, where the majority of the audience was seated, but from my vantage on the track near the stage, a raise of the eyebrows or a shift of the eyes gave the puppets a surprisingly substantial stage presence.

Most of his familiar characters were in the show: Arthur, Achmed the Dead Terrorist, Peanut and Jose Jalepeno on a Stick. There were two that are relatively new to his act: Achmed Jr. and a mini-me version of Dunham that Peanut called “Little Ugly Jeff.” Despite the drunken pleas of a guy near me on the track, Bubba J apparently called in sick.

Joke-wise, Dunham’s observational humor was not breaking a lot of new ground.

He had an extended bit in which Peanut complained about how hard it can be to get automatic-flush toilets to work and wondered whether we really need bathroom attendants to hand us towels (and have the nerve to expect a tip in return).

Peanut, a purple and white monster with a shock of neon green hair — he’s referred to as a “Muppet reject” at one point in the show — was the character that gave voice to some of Dunham’s most questionable material.

The low point was a bit about the difficulty of ordering Chinese food over the phone, complete with the word “hello” pronounced “hair-oh” and fake Mandarin along the lines of “ching chong dong.”

That was hilarious — when I was in elementary school and didn’t know better.

The biggest problem with this material isn’t that it’s offensive (though it is). The problem is that it’s not very funny and doesn’t have much to say.

Racial comedy’s highest purpose is to call out mock the audience’s prejudices.

If you’ve ever seen, for example, a black comedian performing for a largely white audience, you’ve probably experienced the moment where you’re not sure whether it’s OK to laugh at a joke about a negative racial stereotype.

It’s all right, the comic says, we’ve all got biases. You can laugh, as long as you know you’re kind of a jerk for doing so.

It’s only by recognizing and mocking our biases that we can ever hope to overcome them.

With Dunham, however, there’s no comeuppance for the dummies mouthing the ching-chong-dong routines — or Achmed’s “I kill you!” and “72 virgins” wisecracks.

Does Dunham think we’ve gone too far with political correctness? Should we just relax and learn to take a joke? Or does he put these lines in the mouths of his dummies so we see they’re not fit for polite, modern conversation?

It’s hard to say — Dunham never really takes a stand.

“We all know this is all you,” Peanut said to Dunham. The most honest line of the show, from the mouth of a dummy.

Brian Mackey can be reached at 747-9587.

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Quick wit

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Jokes on Calling All Cars

Jokes on Calling All Cars |

? Jokes on Calling All Cars Cassandra Tobin | 14th August 2011

? ? ? Tags? northern star pulse

Calling All Cars plays the Beach Hotel, Byron Bay Thursday, August 18.

Supplied 

Calling?All Cars did not let second album jitters get in the way of a good laugh.

Lead vocalist Haydn Ing talks to Pulse while the recording sessions for Dancing With A Dead Man are still fresh in his mind.

“I really need to just take a step back now because we’ve just come out of the studio,” he says.

“I’ve just listened to each song so many times I don’t like any of them that much at the moment.”

The band’s drive to create and move on is how they ended up with a new record so close to the release of their debut.

Little more than 12 months between sessions is fast for the often-feared sophomore record.

“You always hear about the dreaded second album so we were stressing ourselves out about it and decided to just get straight in there,” Haydn says.

Writing while touring their debut – Hold, Hold, Fire – meant the Melbourne-based trio, including Haydn’s brother James (drums) and Adam Montgomery (bass), had about 40 songs to choose from.

The ones that made the cut stood out, says Haydn.

“During sound checks we were actually working on new riffs,” Haydn says.

“I always carry a dictaphone with me so I can record anything we come up with.”

Dancing With A Dead Man, released last week through Shock, is heavier and faster than its predecessor.

The drums just keep rolling from one track to the next and heavier riffs dirty up an otherwise polished release.

The album was produced with Tom Larkin (Shihad’s drummer), who also worked on their debut.

If you’ve been reading about some sweat-box recording sessions Haydn says he may have some larrikin mates who like adding to the band’s Wikipedia page.

Wikipedia isn’t the only place to gather CAC misinformation.

The boys have their own youtube.com channel – CallingAllCarsTV – where they’ve put up a few interviews, clips and a cooking demonstration.

Haydn and Adam spent some time in the studio filming a clip about the recording of the album while James laid down the drum track.

Haydn discusses the album in terms of “the growth of life” with his tongue firmly planted in cheek.

However the joke was lost on some and the clip lost the band a few friends on their Facebook page.

“We had been watching all these other bands talk about their albums – I won’t say who – and some of them were really bad,” he says. “So we thought we would do one too.”

Next time they’ll make sure they identify it better as a parody though, says Haydn, who for the record doesn’t think the album is like a “juicy plum”.

CAC toured 2010 with the prog-rock icons of the Australian music scene, Birds Of Tokyo and Cog, before graduating to a support slot with AC/DC and Queens Of The Stone Age this year.

“They are both equally amazing,” Haydn says of choosing a favourite between the stadium tours.

“I guess we’re all really big fans of Queens Of The Stone Age, so watching them side of stage was amazing.”
Plus hanging out with the “massive rock gods” was inspiring.

“I think the first time we saw Josh (Homme, frontman for QOTSA) he said ‘you boys drinkin’?’, so we were like ‘ah ... better go grab a beer’,” Haydn says, laughing.

“They’re both amazing though and they’ve been doing it all their lives. I think you pick up bits and pieces from every band you play with.”

So long as they keep that sense of humour as well as the drum beat rolling, Calling All Cars have many stadiums to fill.

You can catch Calling All Cars at the Beach Hotel, Byron Bay on Thursday, August 18 with support from Boy In A Box and Redcoats.

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