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2011年9月9日 星期五

Shane Warne is all natural, jokes comedian Dave Hughes

Thursday, August 11 2011, 07:40 BST Dave Hughes has dressed up to impersonate the newly "slender" Shane Warne.

The Australian comedian, who is best known for his roles on Nova radio and TV show The 7pm Project, was photographed yesterday with sprayed yellow hair and wearing the same clothes as Warne in a recent picture.


After the images were published, Hughes joked to the Herald Sun: "I'm sick of everyone having a crack at Warnie. Both of our new looks are all natural."


Warne recently hit back at reports that he has had cosmetic procedures and likes wearing eyeliner, saying: "Questions re facelift/Botox etc are absolute rubbish." He also admitted that his smooth complexion was thanks to him using Estee Lauder beauty products.


Model Elizabeth Hurley, who has been dating cricketer Warne since late last year, recently joked about the alleged "evil regime" she has devised for her boyfriend, writing on her Twitter page: "I've decided to take full responsibility for SW's remarkable weight loss."


Warne has also defended Hurley over accusations that she forced him into getting in shape.


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2011年8月28日 星期日

'The Mo'Nique Show': Funniest Comedian Yet

'The Mo'Nique Show': Funniest Comedian Yet HPFB.init(); var _gaq = _gaq || [];HPTrack.async = true;HPTrack.getTracker();HPTrack.setCustomVar("news", "default");HPTrack.setCustomVar('vertical', 'BlackVoices'); HPTrack.trackPageview();(function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; (document.getElementsByTagName('head')[0] || document.getElementsByTagName('body')[0]).appendChild(ga);})(); bN_cfg = {h: location.hostname,p: {"dL_ch":"us.hpmgbv","dL_dpt":"default","dL_cmsID":"hpo:923446","cobrand":"HuffPost"} }; function runOmni() {s_265.pfxID = 'hpo';s_265..
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2011年8月11日 星期四

Obama Jokes OK, but GOP Conference Yanks Comedian During Republican Jokes

COMMENTARY | Comedian and Obama impersonator Reggie Brown seemed to only be trying to give the political parties equal time while doing his routine at the Republican Leadership Conference (RLC) in New Orleans over the weekend. He had the crowd roaring with laughter at his off-color Obama jokes. However, the roar turned to outraged booing when he started telling jokes about the 2012 Republican presidential contenders.

Hired for his spot-on impersonation of President Barack Obama, Reggie Brown was sure to be a hit at the RLC. And he was -- at first. According to the New York Daily News, Brown strode onto the stage with "Born in the USA" playing in the background, a slap at the birther movement controversy that had given the President such a difficult time until he petitioned the state of Hawaii to release the long form of his certificate of live birth, thus discrediting the conspiracy theorists that have claimed that he was born in Kenya or somewhere else outside the United States.

Brown told the crowd that his favorite month was February because of Black History Month. He admitted that he only celebrated half the month (a dig at Obama's mixed heritage -- Obama's mother, Stanley Ann Dunham, was, of course, white).

The comedian also talked about the rapid aging process presidents seemed to go through while in the White House. He then produced a "time-lapse" photo of what Obama and his wife, Michele, would look like in the future. The picture was a still shot of comedian Redd Foxx and actress Lawanda Page, the famous feuding in-laws from TV's "Sanford and Son."

The crowd of Republicans erupted with laughter.

But then Brown switched to poking fun at the Republicans running for office. He went after former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich and his recent staff resignation incident, saying that his advisors were "dropping faster than Anthony Weiner's pants in an AOL chatroom."

He then nailed Mitt Romney in a polygamy joke and said the reason former Minnesota governor wasn't at the Conference was because he was "getting his foot surgically removed from his mouth," a direct jab at Pawlenty's hedging over his own coined term "Obamneycare" at last week's New Hampshire Republican Presidential Debate. Brown said placatingly, "Don't worry: it's covered under Obamneycare. Along with spinal transplants."

The booing had begun well before Brown took aim at Rep. Michele Bachmann. He didn't get through his first line before his microphone went dead and music began to play to drown him out.

It appears that the humor found at the expense of the President was preferable to that found in conjunction with the gathering's fellow Republicans. Brown quickly learned that he wasn't performing at the White House Correspondents Dinner.

The incident strangely reflected the mood of the Republican conference, where the speakers repeatedly went after the President and his policies with angry and inflammatory remarks. Newt Gingrich even called the President a "national secular European socialist" and the "opposite of freedom." Sticking to red meat political topics, the speakers ignored the entreaties of two of their number from earlier in the conference. Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal and Mississippi governor Haley Barbour both told the gathering that they should not focus everything on Obama, but use a broader strategy to win in 2012.

It is as yet uncertain what Reggie Brown's plans hold for the future (except that he won't be doing any more Republican functions), but it is very likely that he will soon appear on "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" and "The Colbert Report," not to mention possibly being tapped to do a few Democratic conferences. Because somebody has to assuage the public's curiosity about how that Michele Bachmann joke ends.


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2011年8月9日 星期二

Wimbledon 2011 diary: comedian Tony Hawks called in to put an end to tennis failure jokes

Tennis For Free already has an enthusiastic supporter in Andy Murray’s mother, Judy, who recently attended a session in Merton and tweeted: “Absolutely brilliant. 3 tarmac courts, nets held together with plastic bags, grass growing up tramlines, couldn’t see lines (need paint). Over 100 people there from 3 to 70. Real community thing.”

Murray finished up by saying, “We need more of this” and suggested that the LTA and Tennis Foundation should be backing the project.

Hawks is more than just an armchair follower of tennis; he is an accredited coach and an expert player who aims to spend every Saturday morning guiding players at his Tennis For Free events.

He is also the author of the book Playing The Moldovans at Tennis, in which he bet his friend, fellow comedian Arthur Smith, that he could track down every member of the Moldovan football team and beat them on the tennis court.

The book is due to be released as a film next year and Hawks will also have to fit in his presentation to the LTA around a national stand-up tour, which begins in Lincoln this year.

Supreme talent meets the cream of the crop

The All-England Club sent out a block invitation to England’s Ashes-winning cricketers for Tuesday’s play. Andrew Strauss, Kevin Pietersen and Alastair Cook could all be seen in the Royal Box, and Strauss found himself two seats away from singer Diana Ross. “Nobody tried to explain the rules of cricket to her,” said Gemma Broad, the team analyst. “She only had eyes for Serena Williams.”

As for Strauss, this was his first visit to Wimbledon since his student days, when he sold strawberries in the food court. “We were the lowest of the low,” he said of his temporary job. “I just had a few days, when they didn’t have enough senior staff to hand out the strawberries and cream.”

Milestone memories

A neat statistical quirk has produced a windfall for the Wimbledon shop, which has stamped all its latest memorabilia with the legend ‘125 years’.

The merchandise is marching out of the shop so fast that supply could well dry up by the end of the first week.

“People really like the ‘I was there’ element when they buy souvenirs,” said retail director Jean Cooke. Perhaps they should be consulting Messrs Isner and Mahut about a T-shirt reading “I saw the endless match”

Simona Halep gets it off her chest

You won’t find many athletes, male or female, fessing up to cosmetic surgery. But one who will is Simona Halep, the 19-year-old Romanian who breezed through her first-round match on Tuesday. Halep – who won the French Open junior tournament in 2008 – had breast reduction surgery on her 34DD chest the following year. “It’s the weight that troubles me,” she explained.

“My ability to react quickly, my breasts make me uncomfortable when I play. I don’t like them in everyday life either; I would have gone for surgery even if I hadn’t been a sportswoman.”

As Anna Kournikova’s sports bra campaign put it, “Only the ball should bounce.”


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2011年5月22日 星期日

Which Comedian Steals Jokes from Internet Comments? [Blind Items]

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2011年5月13日 星期五

Comedian says he'll appeal award to lesbian offended by his jokes

VANCOUVER - A comedian's homophobic, profanity-laced verbal attacks on two lesbian audience members at a Vancouver restaurant four years ago were discriminatory, says the British Columbia Human Rights Tribunal, which has ordered the comic and the venue to pay $22,000 in compensation.

The tribunal's hearings into the case last year fuelled the debate over the role of provincial human rights bodies in policing speech, and the Ontario comedian at the centre of it plans to appeal.

Lorna Pardy filed a complaint to the tribunal following a confrontation with comedian Guy Earle at Zesty's restaurant in May 2007.

Earle was the organizer and MC of an open-mic comedy event that night, while Pardy was at the restaurant with her girlfriend at the time, Zoe Broomsgrove, and another friend.

The trio had been sitting outside on the patio but entered the restaurant partway through the comedy performance, says the tribunal's decision.

The women were talking between themselves and their server, which appeared to catch the attention of Earle as he took the stage.

It was about that time that Pardy and her girlfriend shared a kiss. That kiss, according to the testimony of fellow comedian Marlo Franson, was the moment "when it all started."

Earle then directed obscene, vulgar — and at times sexual — insults towards the three women.

"I further find that these comments were not made in response to any 'heckling' by any of the women," wrote tribunal member Murray Geiger-Adams in his decision.

"Rather, they were a response, generally, to the noise associated with their being moved by Zesty’s staff from the patio to their booth, and asked if they wished to order drinks. Mr. Earle’s words were a response, specifically, to him seeing Ms. Broomsgrove kiss Ms. Pardy."

Soon after, Earle was at the women's table repeating many of the slurs and insults he had said on stage, according to the decision, prompting Pardy to throw a glass of water at him.

The next time Earle took to the stage, he launched another verbal attack. After that, he returned to the table and Pardy threw yet another glass of water at him.

While walking back from the washroom later, Pardy encountered Earle again, prompting the comedian to remove the woman's sunglasses and throw them to the floor.

And finally, when the women left for the night, Earle followed them outside and berated them some more, the decision says.

Geiger-Adams concluded Pardy has suffered lasting psychological and physical effects from the altercation, including post-traumatic stress.

Earle, who has since offered an apology, claimed his actions — both on and off the stage — amounted to protected free speech, and explained comedians must be able to deal with unruly audience members.

He also claimed the gay slurs weren't discriminatory, but in fact the opposite: he suggested he was actually exposing stereotypes and prejudice.

In his decision, Geiger-Adams rejected that explanation outright.

"The evidence was all to the contrary: that his purpose, put at its highest, was to 'shut her up,' and that his effect was to humiliate and injure Ms. Pardy with specific reference to her sex and sexual orientation," wrote Geiger-Adams.

Earle also made a claim under the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, but Geiger-Adams said the tribunal didn't have jurisdiction to hear charter arguments.

He also chided Earle for comments the comedian made on a YouTube video defending himself.

Geiger-Adams ruled Earle should be considered an employee of Zesty's, and said the restaurant failed to prevent the discrimination.

Earle was ordered to pay $15,000, while the restaurant and its owner, Salam Ismail, are on the hook for $7,500.

Pardy issued a written statement, saying pointing to the Earle's attempt to defend himself on YouTube and in media interviews as evidence that he "continues to minimize" the comments that landed him in trouble.

"Mr. Earle's desire to be a public figure and speak with the media over the past four years has given him the opportunity to portray me as a drunk, heckler and militant lesbian," Pardy wrote.

"I am not only a 'lesbian,' but also a daughter, a sister, a partner and a woman in the community at large."

Earle's lawyer, James Millar, said he plans to file an application for judicial review.

He said the courts must decide whether the words that come out of a comedian's mouth can violate someone else's human rights.

"What's not in the judgment is my concern: a comedian comes under attack, claims protection under the Charter of Rights, and there's no adjudication on whether this is protected speech or whether discrimination is a reasonable limit on the expression of a comedian on stage," Millar said in an interview.


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2011年3月11日 星期五

Seven Tips To Telling Better Jokes (From a Comedian Who Really Knows!)


To be honest, I think that most presenters should avoid telling

jokes. But on the other hand, telling jokes around the

water cooler or on the porch while sippin' lemonade is

a time-honored tradition. If it was good enough for

Gramps, why ain't it good enough for us? But if you

are going to tell jokes, you should do it right.

1. Make sure you actually know the joke. Practice

it! Tell it to your kids, your spouse, and your dog.

Trust me, you want to tell the joke a few times

before you do it for real. Nothing will make you

look like a bigger idiot than telling a joke wrong.

2. Scan the internet for jokes to AVOID. Don't

tell jokes that everybody has heard... if your

joke is all over the internet, then this is a great

joke to AVOID.

3. Shorter jokes are better. I know, I know. You think

you're a great story teller. But trust me, your audience

will appreciate you for NOT adding all of the colorful

details and fluff. Just tell the joke. Shorten it if you can.

4. The punch line comes last. And I mean last!

Nothing should come after the punch-line. Consider

this joke done well.

Why Did the chicken cross the road? To get to the

other side.

Now, the same joke when the punch-line is not last.

This is much worse. (I know, that joke is pretty bad on

it's own, but... you get the idea.)

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other

side of the road which was on a long block because he

wanted to get to his chicken coop.

See? Punch-lines should be last. Period. NOTHING

comes after the punch. (Except for your silence and their laughter.)

5. Keep it clean. And I mean crystal clean. If you wouldn't

tell it to the Queen of England (who probably doesn't like

jokes much anyway) then leave it out. Seriously. If you

have any doubt whether you are "crossing the line," then

don't tell it. Think of it this way: if you tell a joke to 10 people

and 9 of them laugh, then you've still alienated a friend. Don't do it.

6. If you are telling a joke as part of a presentation,

don't take credit for the joke. You can do that before

the joke with something like, "Here's one I read on

the internet." Or after the joke with something like,

"That old joke was on the internet, but it reminds us

to.... (follow with a point.)" If you don't let people know

that his joke is from the internet, you risk looking like a

fool. I guarantee that at least a couple of people in every

audience already know your joke, and if you want to earn

and keep THEIR respect you need to make sure you don't (tacitly) claim that joke to be yours.

7. Don't steal jokes from stand up comics. Unless they are

dead. Jokes are material, and it is how they earn a living.

If you tell it, copy it, email it.... whatever... you devalue the

joke for them. Besides, it's bad karma. :)








Brad Montgomery CSP is hilarious motivational speaker and corporate comedian who reminds his audiences to take themselves less seriously in his laugh-out-loud keynote presentations. He is an also the author of three books and a humor-in-the-workplace consultant. Get a free audio recording at http://www.HumorJumpStart.com