No joke, Livingston wins ‘crying towel’ award

By Derrick Mahone
dmahone@news-daily.com

Armed with their best one-liners, jokes and put-downs, each of the nine Clayton County football coaches stepped to the podium during the annual Rotary Club Of Clayton County Crying Towel luncheon to poke fun at their teams.

Morrow first-year coach J. Livingston took top honors in winning the award, a blue engraved towel. A longtime basketball coach in the county, Livingston inherits a Morrow squad that returns nine total starters from a team that finished with a 2-8 record last season.

“I’ve noticed there’s a big difference in a football and basketball,” Livingston began his short speech. “A football doesn’t bounce. When it (football) is dropped on the ground, everybody starts hollering, ‘Fumble!’”

But it was probably Livingston’s story about his barber’s parrot that impressed the Rotarians.

Livingston said he visited his barber three times, and each time the barber would step out of the room, his parrot would shout, “Morrow can’t win. Morrow can’t win.” On the fourth visit, Livingston confronted his barber about the parrot. Livingston said the barber took the parrot in the back and scolded it.

After the barber left the room again, Livingston said the parrot looked and him and said, “You know what.”

Drew coach Jarrett Laws was perhaps the most creative as he wrote a poem to poke fun at his team. He had won the last two.

But for the most part, it was just old-fashioned one-liners that kept most of the crowd at the National Archives Building in Morrow laughing.

“I’m not good at telling jokes,” Mount Zion coach Jamie Aull told the gathering of principals, athletics directors and Rotarians. “But if you want to see a joke, just come out and watch my team play.”

At Mundy’s Mill, according to coach Peniel Dany, things have gotten so bad that the school’s custodian has been drawing up plays for him to try.

“This guy is supposed to be cleaning the school, but he comes to me with this sheet of plays,” said Dany, who held up a sheet of paper with some plays sketched on it. “Things have gotten so bad that when I went into a region meeting before the start of practice, and coaches are sitting there flipping a coin to see who will have the benefit of playing Mundy’s Mill for homecoming.”

Edmund Coley takes over a Forest Park program that has had nine different coaches in the past 12 seasons. The former Locust Grove offensive coordinator offered a peace offering for those who happen to run into a Forest Park player in the community.

“If you see a kid that says he plays football for Forest Park, just tell him, ‘Bless your soul,’ ” Coley said.

Al Hughes has won a few Crying Towel Awards during his tenure at both Lovejoy and Jonesboro, but the coach now says that can be a bad omen.

“I’ve done some research, and several times after the coach has won this award, he was fired the next season,” Hughes said. “I’m trying my best not to win this award.”

Known throughout the Southern Crescent as Lovejoy University, because it has produced several Div. I players over the last few years, Hughes said that will not be the case this season. He quipped that his team was small and slow.

To illustrate his point, Hughes brought a small replica helmet to the podium and said it belongs to his biggest player.

“Please take it easy on us this season, we don’t have any players,” Hughes told his coaching counterparts.

But he will get no sympathy from new North Clayton coach Max Wiltz, who has been trying to replace several assistants because of a new county policy that restricts the use of community coaches.

“I’m Max Wiltz, the head football coach, offensive coordinator, defensive coordinator, bus driver, water boy,” he joked.
For most of the coaches the joking stops this weekend, when they begin playing preseason scrimmages.

“I can’t wait,” Deny said.

And neither can the custodian.

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Comedian says he'll appeal award to lesbian offended by his jokes

VANCOUVER - A comedian's homophobic, profanity-laced verbal attacks on two lesbian audience members at a Vancouver restaurant four years ago were discriminatory, says the British Columbia Human Rights Tribunal, which has ordered the comic and the venue to pay $22,000 in compensation.

The tribunal's hearings into the case last year fuelled the debate over the role of provincial human rights bodies in policing speech, and the Ontario comedian at the centre of it plans to appeal.

Lorna Pardy filed a complaint to the tribunal following a confrontation with comedian Guy Earle at Zesty's restaurant in May 2007.

Earle was the organizer and MC of an open-mic comedy event that night, while Pardy was at the restaurant with her girlfriend at the time, Zoe Broomsgrove, and another friend.

The trio had been sitting outside on the patio but entered the restaurant partway through the comedy performance, says the tribunal's decision.

The women were talking between themselves and their server, which appeared to catch the attention of Earle as he took the stage.

It was about that time that Pardy and her girlfriend shared a kiss. That kiss, according to the testimony of fellow comedian Marlo Franson, was the moment "when it all started."

Earle then directed obscene, vulgar — and at times sexual — insults towards the three women.

"I further find that these comments were not made in response to any 'heckling' by any of the women," wrote tribunal member Murray Geiger-Adams in his decision.

"Rather, they were a response, generally, to the noise associated with their being moved by Zesty’s staff from the patio to their booth, and asked if they wished to order drinks. Mr. Earle’s words were a response, specifically, to him seeing Ms. Broomsgrove kiss Ms. Pardy."

Soon after, Earle was at the women's table repeating many of the slurs and insults he had said on stage, according to the decision, prompting Pardy to throw a glass of water at him.

The next time Earle took to the stage, he launched another verbal attack. After that, he returned to the table and Pardy threw yet another glass of water at him.

While walking back from the washroom later, Pardy encountered Earle again, prompting the comedian to remove the woman's sunglasses and throw them to the floor.

And finally, when the women left for the night, Earle followed them outside and berated them some more, the decision says.

Geiger-Adams concluded Pardy has suffered lasting psychological and physical effects from the altercation, including post-traumatic stress.

Earle, who has since offered an apology, claimed his actions — both on and off the stage — amounted to protected free speech, and explained comedians must be able to deal with unruly audience members.

He also claimed the gay slurs weren't discriminatory, but in fact the opposite: he suggested he was actually exposing stereotypes and prejudice.

In his decision, Geiger-Adams rejected that explanation outright.

"The evidence was all to the contrary: that his purpose, put at its highest, was to 'shut her up,' and that his effect was to humiliate and injure Ms. Pardy with specific reference to her sex and sexual orientation," wrote Geiger-Adams.

Earle also made a claim under the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, but Geiger-Adams said the tribunal didn't have jurisdiction to hear charter arguments.

He also chided Earle for comments the comedian made on a YouTube video defending himself.

Geiger-Adams ruled Earle should be considered an employee of Zesty's, and said the restaurant failed to prevent the discrimination.

Earle was ordered to pay $15,000, while the restaurant and its owner, Salam Ismail, are on the hook for $7,500.

Pardy issued a written statement, saying pointing to the Earle's attempt to defend himself on YouTube and in media interviews as evidence that he "continues to minimize" the comments that landed him in trouble.

"Mr. Earle's desire to be a public figure and speak with the media over the past four years has given him the opportunity to portray me as a drunk, heckler and militant lesbian," Pardy wrote.

"I am not only a 'lesbian,' but also a daughter, a sister, a partner and a woman in the community at large."

Earle's lawyer, James Millar, said he plans to file an application for judicial review.

He said the courts must decide whether the words that come out of a comedian's mouth can violate someone else's human rights.

"What's not in the judgment is my concern: a comedian comes under attack, claims protection under the Charter of Rights, and there's no adjudication on whether this is protected speech or whether discrimination is a reasonable limit on the expression of a comedian on stage," Millar said in an interview.

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