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2011年8月16日 星期二

StrategyPage's Military Jokes and Military Humor

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2011年8月8日 星期一

Obama Impersonator On ‘Offensive’ Jokes: ‘I Think That Obama’s Got A Great Sense Of Humor’

The now well-know impersonator of President Obama, Reggie Brown, appeared on MSNBC to discuss being yanked from the stage over the weekend at a Republican conference when his jokes started targeting Republicans. Brown wasn’t too upset that he didn’t get to finish his routine, since he said his jokes aim to entertain all audiences, no matter their politics, and especially since he still collected his paycheck regardless.


Brown confirmed that during a sound check he ran through his material and no one seemed to have a problem during the rehearsal. Yet apparently with a live audience of Republicans, organizers realized his jokes were hitting too close to home.


And responding to criticism that some of Brown’s jokes were offensive and borderline racist, Brown said he didn’t cross the line and didn’t know how anyone could call it racist. Especially since he believes Obama has “a great sense of humor,” Brown plans on making many more appearances in future. Although it seems likely Republicans will be one group not demanding an encore performance.


Watch the clip from MSNBC below:


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2011年7月27日 星期三

StrategyPage's Military Jokes and Military Humor

? 1998 - 2011 StrategyWorld.com. All rights Reserved.
StrategyWorld.com, StrategyPage.com, FYEO, For Your Eyes Only and Al Nofi's CIC are all trademarks of StrategyWorld.com
Privacy Policy


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2011年6月16日 星期四

StrategyPage's Military Jokes and Military Humor

Return to Humor Index


Osama Bin Laden Death Jokes from Twitter


'I bet Bin Laden regrets allowing his iPhone app to "use his current location".'


"Mrs. Bin Laden just updated her Facebook status to single."


"Bin Laden shouldn't have used his real address for his PSN account."


"They should have captured Bin Laden alive and made him continually go through airport security for the rest of his life."


"RIP Osama bin Laden, World Hide and Go Seek Champion (2001-2011)"


"The 72 virgins all have headaches tonight."


"At least he got to see the royal wedding before he went out."


"This is good news for the other guys on the top 10 wanted list ? finally they get to move up in the rankings."


"Osama dead: Donald Trump demands the long-form death certificate."


"So Osama Bin Laden is dead... Amazing what the Americans can do when the Playstation Network is down."


"God will pass judgment; the US Military simply arranged the meeting!"


"Osama corpse into ocean + BP oil spill + Fukushima radiation = Zombie Terrorist."


"I bet Osama Bin Laden accidentally hit the "Add your location" button during his last tweet."


"Am I traveling with anyone? Just my human shield over there."


"The awkward thing about Osama is that nobody is telling you that Dora the Explorer was the one who finally found him..."


"Can they make a Call of Duty Map of Osama his compound?"


?Q: "What color were Osama's eyes?" A: "Blue. One blew this way, one blew that way."


"Osama Bin Laden was RIP (Resting in Pakistan)"


"It seems to me, you lived your life like a sandal in the bin."


"Now that Osama is buried at sea, is it socially acceptable to pee in the water while swimming?"


British - "So apparently they DO take the Bins out on bank holidays!"


"Won't Osama now team up with the deceptorcons now he's in the ocean?"


"BREAKING: Osama bin Laden to run against Hitler for mayor of hell."


"BREAKING: Osama been killed by an elite killing force ... in other news Chuck Norris just returned home from his trip to Pakistan."


 

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2011年3月20日 星期日

Toilet Humor

Toilet Humor

I was in a truckstop restroom and was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: “Hi, how are you?”

I’m not the type to start a conversation in the men’s restrooms at a truckstop but, I don’t know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassedly, “Doin Just Fine!”

And the other guy says, “So what are you up too?”

What kind of question is that? At that point, I’m thinking this is too bizarre so I say, “Uhhh I’m like you, just traveling east!”

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.

Then he asks,” Can I come over to your place after while?”

Ok, this question is just wacky but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation.

I tell him, “Well, I have company over so today is a bad day for me!”

Then I hear the guy say nervously, “Listen, I’ll have to call you back, there’s an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions.”



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2011年3月15日 星期二

Humor - Taking Your Jokes to the Next Level


Often as comedians we stop short in the humor writing process. We find the funny and move on. We walk away not realizing the gem that lies waiting just a breath away - that element that will take the joke from funny to genius. I can speak from experience because I've been stuck in a pattern of quitting too soon.

How do I know when I've stopped too soon? Usually my gut is telling me that I found the funny but missed the nugget - an intuition that I have wrapped it up before really cultivating it to the fullest potential. Another way I know is because I see the other comedians who have found their nuggets. I can see their jokes being on a higher level than mine. Sure, I may have found the funny. But they found the funnier.

Think you may have this problem too? Here are some signs that you are stopping too soon:

 You just know it. You have this feeling that you settled for whatever came to you first.

 The joke gets a weak laugh from your audience and you know the concept is funnier than that. You also know that it's too funny to throw it away.

 When you compare your jokes to other comedians' jokes, they fall short.

 Your joke topics fall into that common area shared by other comedians. There is nothing really unique about your joke.

 When you wrote it and came back three days later it wasn't so funny anymore.

 You hear three other people tell pretty much the same joke.

These are just a few signs and I'm thinking if you need any more signs than that I'm not going to be able to convince you in this article.

Okay, so we have a problem? How do we fix it? How do we keep going with our joke? How do we take a joke to the next level? Here is what I've come up with based on my written research, advice from colleagues, and a little soul searching.

 Let your audiences help you. If your jokes are funny enough to use, go ahead and start using them. Then let your audiences tell you what needs to be fixed. This takes time but it works. If I take the time to mingle with my audience after a show, quite often they will come up and tell me ways to improve my jokes, or things that they thought of to add to the joke. I don't take it personally. I've gotten some of my best jokes that way. Let your audiences work for you.

 Walk around it like a crab. Carry the joke idea in your mind for a while. Chew on it, as my uncle Skeeter would say. I usually carry a story idea around in my head for several weeks. Without even being intentional about it, new ideas will come to me until the story idea is much better than if I'd written it when it first came to me.

 Brain Map it. You probably already know what this is, but in case you don't, it's the process of picking your topic apart and finding all related topics. You let your mind go and as you come up with each tangent turn around and find a related topic to that. For example, if your topic is parenting, you would come up with things like childbirth, discipline, toys, potty training, etc. Now you can take those topics and find topics to spin off of them. For example, childbirth could result in: the epidural, what if men had babies, the pictures, who has the worst birthing story, etc. And you can keep going and going and going. You can turn who has the worst birthing story into a competition at a cookout. I have used this process to turn a handful of jokes into a twenty-minute show or a short story. The key here is to let your mind go. Don't look for the funny. Just write.

 Play What-If. Take your topic and ask yourself, What if ....happened? Or what if ....happened? Or what about if .... happened? The key here is to think of unusual things that could happen in your topic. Let's say parenting is your topic. You brain map it and get on the subject of how easy it is to become a parent. What if you had to have a license to be a parent? What if parents could get their licenses revoked? What if you could get your license revoked for doing stupid stuff to embarrass your kids - like wearing black socks and sandals to the beach. What if kids could divorce their parents? Wasn't there a movie about that?

 Insert a Conflict. Things get so much more interesting when a conflict is added to the picture. And how about a second one? And another one? This is the fuel for a good sitcom episode. One mishap is funny. Two is funnier. Three is hilarious.

 What led up to this? Think of what led up to your conflict - the motivations that led to that chain of events.

 Apply other characters and perspectives to your scenarios. What if this happened to someone else? Like the football coach? Or your Sunday school teacher? How would other people see it - people of different ages or cultural backgrounds? You will reach a whole new level of funny if you start running your comedy through the filter of different personalities - especially quirky personalities.

 What and who is going to fix the problem? How could our problem be fixed? Who would do it? What would it look like?

 If it's like this now, what will it be like in the future? Here's a good trigger to get your mind into the process of exaggerating your concept and suspending disbelief.

 What if this happened to me? How would I react?

 Can I relate this to something that is otherwise totally unrelated? Like a lizard with a British accent who sells insurance on commercials.

 Pick up your comedy bit and drop it into another setting. Like kindergarten, a nursing home, Russia, the ghetto, Sunday school, a zoo, etc.

 Swap out animals instead of people.

 Compare out-of-this world to of-this world. Comparing the supernatural to the super normal. Angels and Wal-Mart.

 Group Story. This only works with a group, duh. Start with one person who starts a story. Each person adds on to the story - word by word - or sentence by sentence - until you get to the last person. Good exercise in just seeing what comes out. I heard this is how the GEICO gecko came about.

 Look at the flip side / opposite.

 Can you add dialogue? Act out some conversations as they apply to your topic.

 Weird, Hard, Scary, Stupid. Just in case you've been living in a cave and haven't heard them, these are the four attitude words you apply to your joke. What's weird, hard, scary, or stupid about your topic? Have you tested each word with your topic?

 How are your act outs? Have you looked at how facial gestures and expressions could add to the humor? Sometimes you can get an extra laugh without saying a word.

 Could you write a song about your topic? How would it go?

 How would reporters report about it?

 What would the liberals say about it? The Republicans? Other Movie Stars?

 Have you cut out every unnecessary word?

There you have it. Surely something in here will trigger you to take your joke to the next level. Remember that it takes a lot of writing to come up with something good. And maybe your joke is already as good as it can be. Great. Move on to something else.

I understand that some of these tips will not apply to the joke you are currently working on. But some will. And understand that these are not formulas for writing jokes, they are exercises to get your creative juices kicked up to the next level. By the way, if you have more helpful tips on how to take your joke to the next level, please let me know.

Happy writing!

Humor - Taking the Joke to the Next Level

How to cross over from funny to genius

Part Four in a Four Part Series on Humor

By Kelly Swanson








Kelly Swanson It's all fun and games 'til the hair gets messed up [http://www.kellyswanson.net] kelly@kellyswanson.net


You Must Be Joking? Incorporating Humor Into A Speech Or Presentation


Using humor in a speech or presentation can help to add an air of authority to your content because everyone loves to laugh! One of the ways to use humour in a speech is to incorporate a joke that is relevant to your content.

Now, in order for that joke to work you need to edit it down and interpret in your own way. Don't feel that you're not qualified to do this. You are don't worry. As long as you can speak and paraphrase you're going to be fine at editing a joke. I understand that it may be difficult to understand the process of editing a joke, but I'm going to do my best.

The point of this article is not to turn you into a comedian. It's to help you spice up your content with humor so that you can connect with your audience and have them feel confident with your ability as a speaker or presenter.

Firstly, make sure you're on your own. Like... sitting in front of your computer. Okay, take your joke and say it out loud. You will probably stumble over the words because jokes that you find in books or on the internet have extraneous words because they help with the reading of the jokes. But these words aren't necessary for the actual spoken delivery of the line.

Most jokes have a small story element to them and so that's what is included. For example they will contain words like: "One day..." or "...and says". Those are structures that we are used to and that help us when we are reading the joke. But they are not at all helpful when you have to deliver that joke.

So read the joke out loud a few times to familiarize yourself with it. Then put it to one side and repeat it a few more times. Just give yourself a bit of "rehearsal" with it. What will begin to happen slowly is that you'll forget bits of the joke and, as a result, paraphrase the joke into your own words.

You'll naturally make shortcuts. Believe me, this is not a bad thing. This is exactly what you want to happen. As you do this try to cut out the storytelling elements. Try to get straight to the meat of the joke. For instance if the joke begins: "one day a CEO turns to one of his employees and says sternly..." You can edit the joke so that it reads: "A CEO turns to an employee and says..."

You cut the word sternly because you should say what the CEO says to the employee in a stern manner. You don't need to tell your listeners how the CEO is speaking because you pretend to be the CEO. So that's 6 words that have been cut and 1 word that has been added.

It's also better to keep the joke in the present tense. Even if it's happened in the past. You'll say something like "last year..." then the tense will immediately change as if it's happening right now. That street joke has got to unfold in front of your audience like it's happening in the here and now. It makes it more immediate for the listener.

How do you know what will make the joke work? Well, the punchline is pretty important. The set-up is important as well, but that can usually do with a bit of trimming. The punchlines are the bit at the end that gets the laugh. Sorry if I'm stating the obvious for some of you, I just want to make sure we're all on the same page.

I'm going to refer to a joke that I'm sure we all know: "why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side". The punchline in this case is "to get to the other side" so this is important to keep because that's the line that will generate the laugh.

That said, the set up line is also very important because if you just said the line "to get to the other side" you will get a lot of blank stares. So you need: "why did the chicken cross the road?". But what you have to be careful of is to make sure that all the important details are there. The chicken is important as is what the chicken is doing.

Remember that editing and delivering a joke are fused together at the hip. You need to practice the joke out loud again and again so you are familiar with it and it flows naturally.

You should also make sure that you personalize the joke if you can. Don't make it any CEO if you can safely make it your CEO. But obviously you have to be careful that you don't offend anybody and risk losing your job. The best thing to do is to make yourself the butt of your jokes. By laughing at yourself you are more likely to win the audience over to your side.

So to re-cap: Find a joke that is relevant to your theme or topic in a broad way. If you cannot find jokes specifically about the Human Resources Department, maybe there are jokes on a broader scale. Exactly what point are you making about H.R.? That they're really organized? That they're incompetent?

Then you need to say your joke over and over again out loud so that you become familiar with it. By doing this you will naturally edit bits of the joke out that don't work for you because you will forget bits. Next go through the joke with a fine-toothed comb edit out any story elements. Finally, make the joke personal and in the present tense.








Jason a Humorist, Speaker and Consultant based in London, England. He provides empowering speeches, valuable business training and morale-boosting entertainment to businesses, colleges and private functions. Check out Pro Humorist


2011年3月12日 星期六

The Importance of Clean Jokes and Humor


Jokes, wit and humor are an essential part of our life for they add charisma and charm to our trivial activities and chores. If you appreciate humor then it is likely that you are alive to the most modest joys of life and have a cheerful outlook towards the things in the world. This is perhaps the reason why researchers stress the need for clean jokes and humor in our life for a better and healthier life. So what are jokes? How do we categorize them? Why is it so important to understand these minute aspects of jokes?

A joke is basically a narration or story of some funny incident that an individual may have encountered in his or her life. Or it may be a fragment of some innovative joke ster's imagination capable of invoking laughter and mirth among many. It may even be a simple line or a message whose ingenuity or incongruity has the power to evoke laughter. While broaching the subject of jokes it is worth mentioning the fact that as nothing in this world comes in perfectly one shade and aspect, the same is true for humor. Your humor may have the capability of provoking joy among individuals but it is quite possible that crude jokes and over explicit jokes might actually result in quite an opposite effect. This is an important element of jokes and is more specifically classified into two types that are clean jokes and humor as opposed to the less favorable and less recommended type i.e. dirty humor.

The basic feature which enables us to categorize humor into clean jokes and otherwise is their rating which enables us to identify whether the joke is safe for children and young adults or not. Moreover, jokes which actually result in a harassing effect and provoke aggravation among different beliefs, point of views and thought schools by deriding them also fall into this category. Clean jokes thus need to be identified and separated from their opposites and their importance and need should in no way be compromised. Moreover, in most companies, offices and institutes, any professional workplace or even family get togethers, the use of dirty jokes is considered as a serious offense. Not only is this against all the social and moral norms but also tends to worsen the environment and work place sanity.

Clean jokes can be easily found on a number of dedicated websites on the World Wide Web and one of their greatest advantages is that you don't have to worry about hurting another's feelings or emotions through your humor. Sharing clean jokes is an excellent way of putting a smile on your friend's or loved one's face. You may choose to either share them in public gatherings or email them to friends and family to create a beautiful memory.








To learn more about Clean Jokes please visit http://www.smilejokes.com.


2011年3月11日 星期五

How Jokes and Gags Websites Have Changed the Way We Share Humor


The world's oldest joke dates back around 4000 years and was popular among ancient Sumerians, a University of Wolverhampton study recently found. Other ancient - and rather irreverent - jokes were about pharaohs and Englishmen in the 10th century AD. Jokes were more than a way of making people smile; they were a method of rebelling against established authorities and defying social norms. Even today, the goal of jokes and gags remains the same - poking fun at influential people and ideas, joining in the general warmth and bonhomie, and providing a defense mechanism against stress. After all, if you can joke about it, then it probably won't kill you.

The earlier jokes and gags were probably transmitted by word of mouth - paper or parchments were expensive, and in any case, only the kingly or priestly classes knew how to read or write. Bawdy theater and dance performances were another way of sharing one-liners about cultural or religious taboos. Even though these performances were often banned by the ruling classes, people from all backgrounds enjoyed them either openly or secretly, which goes to show that human nature has changed little over the past three thousand years.

Jokes and gags can be classified into many categories. There are harmless jokes that you can share with preschoolers, provided they can understand subtle punch lines. There is sarcastic humor that has led to lawsuits. There are jokes that are deemed inappropriate in one setting and perfectly acceptable in other situations. And then there are jokes about groups or communities, deemed offensive to the people who are the butt of the jokes, but nonetheless relished by others. Jokes and gags are among the most common and inexpensive human indulgences - and probably the most controversial.

Today, thanks to the Internet, you no longer have to wait for the morning newspaper or buy a magazine to access funny one-liners. The Internet allows you to search, download, or email jokes at a mouse click. A simple search by keyword, such as "politician", will generate a list of the most popular, recent, or frequently emailed political jokes. If you like a joke very much and want to show your appreciation for it, you can rate it online.

If your friends find your jokes witty and think you should share them with more people, you can submit your own jokes to the jokes and gags websites. The submission process is easy; all you need is an email ID. This is the primary reason that websites feature so many more jokes than your average newspaper or magazine. What is more, new jokes are constantly being added to their directory. These sites are not static. They allow users to interact, rate each other's work, and provide encouragement and advice. If you are lucky, your submission might become the joke of the day, read by thousands of visitors to the site. Imagine being able to make so many people smile; perhaps a few of them are having a bad day at work, worrying about bills, or wondering how to complete a tough school project.








Jokes and gags websites have changed the way people share fun and laugh at serious matters in an attempt to cheer each other up.