Late Night TV's Best Jokes About Donald Trump, Osama Bin Laden

Stephen Colbert, left, and Jon Stewart

David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Fallon, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert all made jokes about Donald Trump and Osama bin Laden on their late-night shows Monday night.

In his top 10 list on CBS' Late Show, Letterman imagined what bin Laden's final words were before he was killed?Sunday by U.S. forces, as noted by Entertainment Weekly.

At No. 7: "What on Earth could be interrupting Celebrity Apprentice?"

The jab was in reference to the fact that President Obama -- whom Trump has publicly attacked for several months -- made the announcement of bin Laden's death in primetime Sunday, pre-empting regularly scheduled shows including Trump's Celebrity Apprentice.

On TBS' Conan, O'Brien also noted the Apprentice pre-emption.

"Which begs the question, how do we kill bin Laden again next Sunday?" he quipped.

Fallon, host of NBC's Late Night, impersonated Trump at the beginning of his show.

"To me, the message is clear," said Fallon as Trump. "President Obama is so scared of me and so desperate for attention that he felt the need to hunt down and kill Osama bin Laden right in the middle of my show. Classic Obama move."

On Comedy Central's Daily Show, Stewart could barely contain his excitement over the news of bin Laden's death.

"I suppose I should be expressing some ambivalence about the targeted killing of another human being, and yet, uh, no," he told his?Daily Show audience. "I just want details. What look did he give when Bin Laden realized the helicopters overhead were not giving traffic and weather updates? You think he pulled a Culkin?" Stewart quipped, showing the iconic image of Macauley Culkin with his hands on his cheeks and a shocked look on his face from Home Alone.?(Gawker?has the video.)

Fellow Comedy Central late-night host Colbert said he was "as giddy as a schoolgirl who just shot bin Laden in the eye."

“Suck my giant American balls, Al Qaeda,” he said on Monday’s Colbert Report, adding, “Hey Osama, no 3D movies for you in hell. Which I’m pretty sure would be The Last Airbender. ... I am just so happy. And I hope I am never again this happy over someone’s death.”

He added that he can “finally now throw my long-awaited ‘We Got Bin Laden Party,’” after which dusty and deflated balloons fell from the ceiling. “They’re a little dusty. They’ve been up there since 2002.” He also brought out a moldy cake with an image of bin Laden’s in Bjork’s infamous swan dress. The cake read: “Whassssup! Bin Laden, you are the weakest link. Goodbye.”

Quipped Colbert: “Folks, believe me, in 2002 this cake was hilarious.” (Gawker has the video here.)

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Bin Laden jokes come thick and fast on US shows

Jimmy Fallon, host of "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon," portrays Donald Trump during a public address about the demise of al-Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden. (AP Photo/NBC, Lloyd Bishop) Osama bin Laden's death not only dominated the news, but also fuelled a wealth of comic relief, punch lines and unapologetic crowing from TV's late-night hosts.

"You seem like you're in a good mood," said CBS' David Letterman, greeting his "Late Show" audience with a grin. "You folks enjoy the Osama bin Laden season finale?"

Over on NBC, "Tonight Show" host Jay Leno was all smiles, too, as he declared, "It looks like President Obama has a new campaign slogan: 'Yes I Did.'"

"Great news," said Conan O'Brien on his TBS talk show. "The world's most wanted man, Osama bin Laden, is dead. Which means now the official No 1 threat to America is the KFC Double Down."

"It was the first Twitter death rumour ever that turned out to be true," cracked Jimmy Kimmel on ABC.

"Bin Laden is dead!" said "Late Night" host Jimmy Fallon on NBC - "just like the Republicans' chances in 2012."

And on CBS' "Late Late Show," host Craig Ferguson gave extra oomph to his trademark pronouncement, "It's a great day for America, everybody!"

"I'm as giddy as a schoolgirl who just shot bin Laden in the eye," glowed Stephen Colbert on "The Colbert Report," adding, "I hope I am never again this happy over someone's death."

Colbert's fellow Comedy Central host, Jon Stewart, was no less effusive on "The Daily Show."

"I suppose," he allowed, "I should be expressing some ambivalence about the targeted killing of another human being. And yet - uhhhh, no!"

Instead, Stewart said, he wanted details. Like, what was the look on bin Laden's face when he realised "the helicopters overhead were not giving traffic and weather updates?"

Letterman's Top Ten, "fresh from the State Department," purported to list bin Laden's final words, which might have been "I'm not sure I want to live in a world where 'Fast Five' is the No. 1 movie," or maybe, "I need a house full of Navy SEALs like I need a hole in the head."

The jokes - and there were many - were focused on a handful of basic themes. Like the courageous Navy SEALs who took bin Laden out.

According to O'Brien, "When he heard about it, former President Bush was furious and said, 'Wait a minute - I could have used seals?!'"

"How about those Navy SEALs?" marveled Letterman. "They jump out of a helicopter and they break into the compound, and they fire a warning shot into his head."

"Well, the good news is," he added, invoking another prevalent theme, "bin Laden lived to see the royal wedding."

"Between the death of bin Laden and the marriage of Kate Middleton and Prince William," Kimmel said, "it's an exciting time to be in the commemorative plate business."

But what will happen to bin Laden in the next life?

Fallon disclosed that the 72 virgins supposedly awaiting the al-Qaeda leader in paradise had turned out to be "just some dudes watching 'Game of Thrones' on HBO."

Letterman had another theory: Owing to a screwup in the paperwork, they were 72 vegans.

The comics took glee in lampooning Donald Trump, who, as an undeclared GOP candidate for the presidency, has noisily questioned both Obama's citizenship and college scholarship.

On NBC, first word of bin Laden's death pre-empted the final few minutes of Sunday's East Coast airing of the Trump-hosted reality show, "Celebrity Apprentice."

"This," said O'Brien, "begs the question: How do we kill bin Laden again NEXT Sunday?"

Kimmel observed that, "On the same night Obama was ordering the Navy to kill bin laden, his potential opponent in 2012, Donald Trump, was busy firing Playmate of the Month Hope Dworaczyk."

And on "Late Night," Fallon impersonated Trump in a sketch, stating that Obama "is so scared of me and so desperate for attention that he felt the need to hunt down and kill bin Laden right in the middle of my show."

Online, much of the comedy reaction revolved around positioning Obama as an action hero. Making the rounds was a picture of a determined Obama and the label: "Everyone chill ... out, I GOT THIS!"

Another photo showed a smiling Obama in sunglasses and suit with the caption: "Sorry it took so long to get you a copy of my birth certificate. I was too busy killing Osama bin Laden."

One of the most popular topics on Twitter through much of Monday was Jack Bauer, the fictional government agent of "24." The Jack Bauer messages typically reflected a pride in the Navy SEALs who carried out the mission.

Steve Martin took his own, pointedly ironic approach to the startling events: "Slow news day," he tweeted.

But one of the most widespread quotations was from a much older comic legend: "I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure." That one was courtesy of Mark Twain.

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President Obama Laughed Thru Osama Bin Laden Jokes Saturday Night, Acted Against Bin Laden Sunday

May 02, 2011 6:39 PM

ABC's Z. Byron Wolf reports:

President Obama and some ranking White House staffers knew Saturday night that American forces were closing in on Osama bin Laden in Pakistan. But they maintained strict poker faces. President Obama sat next to Saturday Night Live writer Seth Meyers as he gave a speech roasting the President.

Meyers’ joke about bin Laden hosting a CSPAN program and President Obama’s belly laugh take on new meaning now that its clear the President knew Americans could make a move on bin Laden any day.

Watch it here:

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Watch: Obama Laughs at Seth Meyers Osama Bin Laden Joke

Osama Bin Laden Dead: Obama Calls for 'Unity'

President Obama speaks to leaders of the Republican and Democratic parties.

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