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2011年6月24日 星期五

Obama's Donald Trump Jokes Helped by 'Daily Show' Writer

President Obama has been praised for the jokes he made at Saturday's White House Correspondents Association dinner, during which he poked fun at Donald Trump and Matt Damon, among others.


It turns out that a writer on the Daily Show With Jon Stewart is one of those whom Obama should be thanking.


Kevin Bleyer was one of the writers who helped Obama with his jokes, Comedy Central confirmed to The Hollywood Reporter late Monday. Bleyer apparently took the job independent of Daily Show and was the show's only writer who had a hand in Obama's script.


In his remarks Saturday, Obama took aim at Trump, who has for months been questioning the president's birth certificate.


"I know he's taken some flack lately," Obama said, "but no one is prouder to put this birth certificate issue to rest than Donald, and that's because he can get back to the issues that matter, like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?"


Obama also made a dig at Damon, who recently publicly spoke out against him.


"Matt Damon said he was disappointed in my performance," he said. "Well, Matt, I just saw The Adjustment Bureau, so right back atcha, buddy!"


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2011年6月23日 星期四

Late Night TV's Best Jokes About Donald Trump, Osama Bin Laden

Stephen Colbert, left, and Jon Stewart

David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Fallon, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert all made jokes about Donald Trump and Osama bin Laden on their late-night shows Monday night.


In his top 10 list on CBS' Late Show, Letterman imagined what bin Laden's final words were before he was killed?Sunday by U.S. forces, as noted by Entertainment Weekly.


At No. 7: "What on Earth could be interrupting Celebrity Apprentice?"


The jab was in reference to the fact that President Obama -- whom Trump has publicly attacked for several months -- made the announcement of bin Laden's death in primetime Sunday, pre-empting regularly scheduled shows including Trump's Celebrity Apprentice.


On TBS' Conan, O'Brien also noted the Apprentice pre-emption.


"Which begs the question, how do we kill bin Laden again next Sunday?" he quipped.


Fallon, host of NBC's Late Night, impersonated Trump at the beginning of his show.


"To me, the message is clear," said Fallon as Trump. "President Obama is so scared of me and so desperate for attention that he felt the need to hunt down and kill Osama bin Laden right in the middle of my show. Classic Obama move."


On Comedy Central's Daily Show, Stewart could barely contain his excitement over the news of bin Laden's death.


"I suppose I should be expressing some ambivalence about the targeted killing of another human being, and yet, uh, no," he told his?Daily Show audience. "I just want details. What look did he give when Bin Laden realized the helicopters overhead were not giving traffic and weather updates? You think he pulled a Culkin?" Stewart quipped, showing the iconic image of Macauley Culkin with his hands on his cheeks and a shocked look on his face from Home Alone.?(Gawker?has the video.)


Fellow Comedy Central late-night host Colbert said he was "as giddy as a schoolgirl who just shot bin Laden in the eye."


“Suck my giant American balls, Al Qaeda,” he said on Monday’s Colbert Report, adding, “Hey Osama, no 3D movies for you in hell. Which I’m pretty sure would be The Last Airbender. ... I am just so happy. And I hope I am never again this happy over someone’s death.”


He added that he can “finally now throw my long-awaited ‘We Got Bin Laden Party,’” after which dusty and deflated balloons fell from the ceiling. “They’re a little dusty. They’ve been up there since 2002.” He also brought out a moldy cake with an image of bin Laden’s in Bjork’s infamous swan dress. The cake read: “Whassssup! Bin Laden, you are the weakest link. Goodbye.”


Quipped Colbert: “Folks, believe me, in 2002 this cake was hilarious.” (Gawker has the video here.)


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2011年6月14日 星期二

Donald Trump shows no hard feelings over Obama jokes

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – U.S. real estate mogul and possible Republican presidential contender Donald Trump says that President Barack Obama did a "pretty good" job mocking him at a Washington gala Saturday evening.

In remarks at the annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner Saturday evening, Obama joked about the "birther" debate, Trump's possible presidential ambitions and his experience as a reality TV star.

"I thought some of what the president did was pretty good," Trump said in an interview on CNN on Sunday.

"I understand it. It was a lion's pit. I was walking into it. I've been there before and I thought it was an entertaining evening," Trump said.

One of Obama's gags that most amused Trump, he said, were the images flashed on big ballroom screens of what was labeled "Trump, The White House," spoofing the businessman's practice of naming buildings after himself.

It portrayed a hotel-casino-golf course with bikini-clad girls frolicking in the fountain that adorns a White House lawn and gold columns substituted at the front for white ones.

Trump has seized on talk that Obama was not native born and therefore ineligible to be president. Obama last week released a longer version of his birth certificate to silence the debate.

Trump again took credit for forcing Obama to release the document but said he did not want to talk about the birther issue any more.

"The press kept asking the question and that's what it came to the forefront," he said. He said he'd rather talk about serious issues like jobs and the economy.

Trump, who has been testing the waters for a possible 2012 run for the Republican presidential nomination, said he would be "announcing something prior to June."

He's holding back with an announcement until his reality TV show "Celebrity Apprentice" ends it's season on May 22, he said.

(Reporting by JoAnne Allen; Editing by Philip Barbara)


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2011年6月9日 星期四

Jokes Aside, Donald Trump Wants To Get Back To The Real Fake Issues

Jokes Aside, Donald Trump Wants To Get Back To The Real Fake Issues: Gothamist Sitename 56° our cities: AustinBostonChicagoLondonLos AngelesNew York CitySan FranciscoSeattleShanghaiTorontoWashington DC  PolarBearCon 2011: Riding Bikes With Ursus Maritimus featured  Big Soda Not Happy About Bloomberg's Food Stamp Soda Ban  Politicians Want To Ban NYPD From Handcuffing Children At Schools Jokes Aside, Donald Trump Wants To Get Back To The Real Fake Issues

 
The Donald with his current counterpart (AP) The White House Correspondent's dinner is a long-running Washington tradition, a way for politicians and the journalists who cover them to unwind for an evening in sympatico. But this year, it was mostly a chance for everyone to pile on Donald Trump and his "enormous balls." Well, Trump was absolutely flattered to be the "sole focus" of the night, but he just feels the pain of the American people too much to take any real pleasure in the yuks: "I guess when you're leading in the polls that sort of thing tends to happen. But I was certainly in a certain way having a good time listening. I don't think the American people are having a good time with $5 gas...I was thinking to myself as they were doing this, you know, the American people are really suffering," he told "Fox and Friends" today.


Trump, who was booed when he arrived at the dinner, definitely didn't look like he was having a fun time during the impromptu-roast; the camera caught him looking dead-eyed during several of the monologues. "I had no idea it would be to that extent, where you know, it was just joke after joke after joke. It was almost like, is there anyone else they could talk about?" he humbly opined. Trump did praise President Obama's jokes, but had some tough advice for Seth Meyers: "I thought Seth's delivery was terrible. He had marbles in his mouth. His presentation was not good. The president was far superior."


Trump also defended his F-bomb-laden Las Vegas speech from this past week, which he was almost universally criticized for...although he didn't see it that way: "Well, it was a speech in Las Vegas, in front of a rough group of folks, and a great group of folks, and I got standing ovation...It was really well received. The fact is it's a word of emphasis with that group. Probably I won't do it anymore, to be honest with you."

Contact the author of this article or email tips@gothamist.com with further questions, comments or tips. By Ben Yakas in News on May 1, 2011 6:00 PM donald trump humility jokes president obama seth meyers white house correspondent's dinner Other Interesting Stories Comments [rss] chris87654Another article sez: "Trump said he will focus on “making our country rich and respected,” by creating jobs, boosting the economy and stopping China and the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries from taking advantage of the U.S. "

First I've heard other than birther and grades/papers gossip from Don, but I'd like to know how he plans to accomplish his ideas, along with what cuts he'll make to reduce fed spending, who will be affected, and what he plans to do about Medicare/Medicaid and Social Security. Nothing new - same questions I'd have for Palin, Bachmann, other sideshows, and more realistic candidates.DonnaHThat Las Vegas event Trump cursed so prolifically in front of was put on by the Spring Mountain Republican Women's Group and other Republican Women's groups; the people Trump calls a "rough group of folks."

Can the man say two sentences without one of them being a lie? --Apparently not.Inconcievable de ImpublishableCon Artist In Chiefsluggitaearly onset alzheimers? Seriously, seems like Mr. Trump is suffering from some mental disease that disconnects him from most peoples reality. kind of sad to see him act out so publicly, Sheenlike.blog comments powered by Disqus ? PreviousHome send a tip Got something to share? Let us know! From tips@gothamist.com The day's most popular stories from Gothamist every evening in your inbox from our newsletter. Plus weekly event listings on Mondays! EMAIL (required) about staff / advertising / contact / newsmap contribute  subscribe Use an RSS reader to stay up to date with the latest news and posts from Gothamist. add gothamist Yahoo NewsGator Bloglines Feedster Google new TWTR.Widget({ version: 2, type: 'profile', rpp: 4, interval: 6000, width: 300, height: 300, theme: { shell: { background: '#666666', color: '#ffffff' }, tweets: { background: '#FFFFFF', color: '#1a1a1a', links: '#990000' } }, features: { scrollbar: false, loop: false, live: false, hashtags: true, timestamp: true, avatars: false, behavior: 'all' } }).render().setUser('gothamist').start(); c 2003-2010 Gothamist LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use & Privacy Policy.Site Meter ?

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2011年6月3日 星期五

Donald Trump squirms as Barack Obama deals death-by-jokes

PRESIDENT Barack Obama told jokes at the expense of US property mogul Donald Trump on Saturday night, mocking his possible presidential ambitions in remarks at the annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner.With Mr Trump in the hotel ballroom audience of celebrities, politicians and journalists, Mr Obama zeroed in on talk fuelled by the billionaire that the president was not US-born.

Last Wednesday, the White House released a longer version of Mr Obama's birth certificate to answer some Republicans, including Mr Trump, who claim he was not native-born and therefore ineligible to be president, with the president himself giving a short speech blasting "carnival barkers" who refuse to let the issue die.

Mr Trump has seized on the issue while testing the waters for a possible 2012 run for the Republican presidential nomination. Mr Obama is running for re-election with the Democrats next year.

"Donald Trump is here tonight. And I know that he's taken some flak lately. But no-one is happier, no-one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than 'The Donald'," said Mr Obama, using Mr Trump's nickname.

"And that's because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter. Like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?" Mr Obama added, drawing laughs and applause.

Roswell refers to an incident in the vicinity of Roswell, New Mexico, where, according to some theories, an object that crashed in 1947 was an extra-terrestrial spacecraft carrying alien occupants. Biggie Smalls and Tupac Shakur were rap stars whose deaths are the subject of continuing controversy.

Mr Obama suggested that Mr Trump's biggest decisions typically involve the sackings he dishes out on his reality television show Celebrity Apprentice, such as when he dumped actor Gary Busey last week, while keeping singer Meat Loaf.

"These are the kinds of decisions that would keep me up at night," Mr Obama deadpanned. "Well handled, sir. Well handled."

Trump grinned, pursing his lips and looking uncomfortable.

"I think we all know about your credentials and breadth of experience," Mr Obama said of Mr Trump, drawing laughs.

"Say what you want about Mr Trump," the president added. "He certainly would bring change to the White House."

Big video screens in the ballroom then flashed an image of what was labelled "Trump, The White House," spoofing the businessman's practice of naming buildings after himself.

It portrayed a hotel-casino-golf course with bikini-clad girls frolicking in a fountain, and the white columns replaced by gold ones.
Mr Trump's mood worsened as comedian Seth Meyers picked up where Mr Obama left off.

"Donald Trump often talks about running as a Republican, which is surprising," said the Saturday Night Live actor. "I just assumed he was running as a joke."

Mr Trump has made a series of controversial comments as he mulls a presidential campaign and attacked Mr Obama and other US political leaders in a profanity-laced speech in Las Vegas last week, calling them "stupid".


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2011年6月2日 星期四

Top five jokes on Donald Trump’s ‘Taj-Ma helmet’ hair

If real estate powerhouse Donald Trump is serious about running for president, he should probably acquire thick skin, as his fluffy hair tends to attract negative attention.

Trump, who has been a key promoter of the idea that President Barack Obama may not have been born in the United States, has been the subject of many hair jokes lately. Celebrities, opponents, and supporters alike can’t figure Trump’s mop out, and some people have even joined the Trump “Balders” movement, attesting that the billionaire shouldn’t be eligible for the presidency because his hair came from another country.

If you have more fun debating the origin of Trump’s mane than Obama’s birth place, you’ll be amused by our compilation of the most hilarious Trump hair jabs of all time.

5. Comedian Robin Williams describes Trump’s mane as “the creature”

“I believe the hair is actually The Donald,” Williams told Joy Behar last week. “That’s actually the creature.”

Williams explained more about “the creature,” saying it comes to life, orchestrates Trump’s life, and asks, “How are we doing today? Who shall we marry next?”

“He wants to see Obama’s birth certificate, I want to see his hairline,” Williams said. “I think that’s actually a helmet!”

4. Alec Baldwin likens his mother’s hair to Trump’s

“30 Rock” star Alec Baldwin stooped to a new low when he compared his mom’s locks to Trump’s mane, noting that she had “a very serious comb-over” following a major chemotherapy induced hair loss.

“She’s a breast cancer survivor, so she has what we call [Donald] Trump hair,” Baldwin told talk show host David Letterman. “We call it the onion loaf, it’s a very serious comb-over, we have to fluff it really well.”

3. David Letterman asks if Trump has hair or a “Taj-Ma helmet”

In 2002, television personality David Letterman laid out 10 ways to describe Donald Trump’s hair. They included:

No. 7: Trumpy
No. 6: Strangely hypnotic
No. 5: Unbe-weave-able
No. 4: Wiggy
No. 1: Taj-Ma helmet

2. Tracy Morgan says “The Apprentice” host conceived an illegitimate Harlem child who has floppy hair like his dad

Comedian Tracy Morgan joked earlier this month that he’d investigated Trump and learned that the billionaire fathered a young boy in Harlem.

“I got some people up town in Manhattan checking you out…Little black boy with blue eyes and hair that go like this,” Tracy said on “The Daily Show,”? imitating Trump’s flying mane. “Come see that boy. Come see that boy, Donald.”

1. Letterman makes parallels between Trump’s hair and “Beverly Hills Chihuahua” film

Television host Letterman can’t say enough about Trump’s mane, which he once compared to D-list children’s movie “Beverly Hills Chihuahua”.

“The Beverly Hills Chihuahua is ready for Halloween. He’s dressing up as that thing on Donald Trump’s head,” Letterman said in 2008.

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2011年5月30日 星期一

Donald Trump not amused by jokes at White House Correspondents Dinner

 Donald Trump was the target of many of President Obama and Seth Meyers' jokes at the White House Correspondent Dinner.

The Donald was not amused.


Donald Trump, who sat stonefaced as he was roasted unmercifully at the White House Correspondents Dinner, had little good to say Sunday about the shindig.


"The content I understand, but the amount of jokes? I was amazed at the number," Trump said.


He said he didn't think any of the jokes were particularly funny, but assumed the mockery Saturday night was a sign of his growing political clout.


"When you're leading the polls, I guess that's the one you shoot at," he said. "I was honored by the fact that they devoted most of their speeches to me."


President Obama and the headlining comedian, Saturday Night Live's Seth Meyers, sent up birth certificate conspiracies and unleashed a barrage of ridicule at Trump's hair, accent, ties, taste and TV show.


"I thought Seth's delivery was terrible. He had marbles in his mouth," Trump said. "His presentation was not good. The president was far superior."


Frequent C-Span cutaways to Trump, who was sitting at the Washington Post's table, showed the eccentrically-coiffed mogul never even pretended to be laughing along.


He stared straight at the stage, gimlet-eyed, as the ribbing mounted and his dining companions squirmed.


The whole thing "was so awkward that some folks at his table stopped laughing and applauding," according to Politico's Mike Allen.


The rest of the room, however, roared at each new joke.


"Donald Trump has been saying he will run for president as a Republican, which is surprising because I just assumed that he was running as a joke," Meyers said.


"Donald Trump often appears on Fox, which is ironic, because a fox often appears on Donald Trump's head."


In particular, Obama doubled over when Meyers theorized that Trump's comment about his "great relationship with the Blacks" must have been about a white family called the Blacks.


Trump said he thought the biggest laugh went to Obama's cartoon mock up of what the White House would look like if Trump won office: a garish pink neon sign advertising the "Trump White House: hotel, casino, golf course and Presidential Suite" with bikini babes frolicking in a hot tub on the north lawn and the stately portico columns repainted gold.


For the record, Trump said President The Donald would not be redecorating.


"We have much more important problems," he said.


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2011年5月28日 星期六

Donald Trump's witty comeback to Seth Meyers' jokes? 'He's a stutterer'

 "The Celebrity Apprentice" host and proposed presidential candidate, Donald Trump, has issued his "I know you are, but what am I?" response to "Saturday Night Live's" head writer and cast member Seth Meyers' roasting of him at the White House Correspondents Dinner.Politico.com reports that Trump called into "Fox and Friends" on Sunday (May 1) and had a few words to say about Meyers' rolling joke train at his expense.?"I thought Seth Meyers -- his delivery frankly was not good," Trump says. "He's a stutterer."Trump used his poker face while both Meyers and President Obama took their humorous shots at the real estate mogul. But, apparently, still waters run deep. ?"I didn't know that I'd be virtually the sole focus," Trump says of the speeches. "I guess when you're leading in the polls that sort of thing tends to happen. But I was certainly in a certain way having a good time listening. I don't think the American people are having a good time with $5 gas. ... I was thinking to myself as they were doing this, you know, the American people are really suffering and we're all" having fun at a gala.Do you think the common American's plight would have entered Trump's mind had Meyers and Obama not made him the butt of their jokes?If you missed what Meyers had to say about Trump, watch it below (at about 2:10 in):

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2011年3月25日 星期五

VIDEO: The Situation Throws A Grenade (Joke) -- And Bombs At Donald Trump Roast


http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid16157557001/bctid829005490001

Poor Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino. We knew he can't dance, and now we know he can't tell a joke either.

For some reason (why, we don't know) The Situation was invited to The Comedy Central Roast Of Donald Trump, and one thing we learned is that the 'L' in GLT does NOT stand for laughs.

PHOTOS:? Jersey Shore Guys Show Off Their Beach Bods

Here's an example of one 'joke':

"People are hating on him because Trump is always firing people, but it's kind of OK because he completely let himself go anyway," Sorrentino (who appeared to be having a good time) said to repeated groans in the audience.?

He also took a shot at comedian and fellow Trump roaster Whitney Cummings, asking her if she was a chick. "On the Jersey Shore we call ugly chicks grenades, but I actually wouldn't call you a grenade because you aren't blowing up anytime soon."

PHOTOS: Donald Trump's Comedy Central Roast

The audience didn't know how to react -- and neither did the usually self-mocking Cummings.

The Situation then turned his 'humor' on comedy vet Jeffrey Ross, saying: "You and me have a lot in common, buddy." "We're both from Jersey, and tonight's my first night doing comedy."

"It's also your last night, just so you know," Ross shot back.

Watch the video on RadarOnline.com

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2011年3月21日 星期一

Gary Coleman joke at Donald Trump roast: Too soon, too insensitive, too unfunny

gary-coleman-hat.jpgRoasts are supposed to be funny, right? It seems that everyone who attended Donald Trump's Comedy Central Roast bombed spectacularly. We all cringed through The Situation's drunken, self-congratulatory mess-fest, and were relieved when Jeffrey Ross intervened and put the Jersey bore out of his misery.

Except, it turns out that Ross was kind of a tool, too. Was there any reason to bring up Gary Coleman at a Donald Trump event? The man lived 42 years and never even resorted to a "Celebrity Apprentice" appearance. Can't we just let him rest in peace?

"He died of multiple aneurysms, which is a little like diff'rent strokes," Ross says.

Um... maybe we'll laugh later. Or not.

Trump says he agreed to the roast for charity's sake -- and he even poked fun at himself during the event. "Maybe you've heard this one. What's the difference between a wet raccoon and Donald Trump's hair?" he asked the audience. "A wet raccoon doesn't have seven billion f---ing dollars in the bank."

Touche.
Photo/Video credit: Getty Images

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