Funny Republic

Monday, April 25th, 2011 15:27:00  SPOT ON: Harith raved about Malaysians’ ability of choice (chaos), versus Singaporeans’ need for rules (organisation)

JOKES on Singapore is in. Now that would be the conclusion one could make as the message seemed to ring loudly at 'Com-edy Club: April Foolery and Fun' last week.

Whether the jokes (or bits of reality) were told by Troy Kinne, Mary Bourke or Harith Iskander; it all worked. Who can blame the majority Malaysian crowd? We do love to hear the negative sides of our family across the southern border - and are not reluctant to admit it.

Although the crowd started packing the club way before starting time at 8.30pm, the show only started half an hour later (a case of Malaysian time perhaps).

Hosted by Josiah Mizukami, the show opened with the an-tics of Melbournian funnyman Troy who got the crowd in a" TGIF mood" with his take on Singapore - and promptly got the crowd eating from the palm of his hands from that moment onwards.

Besides the jibe on the Lion City and its citizens, the ex-land-scape gardener got the crowd going with his take on relation-ships - from his ex-girlfriends and parents, a universal problem that we all face and relate to regardless of our nationality, race or culture.

Troy's easy, breezy humour and expressions gave audience a chance to laugh their lungs out many times during his half-an-hour stint, but it was his personal experience entertaining the Aus-tralian Defense Forces troop in East Timor that was among the more memorable moments.

Troy's frolics set the bench mark for the evening and when Mary Bourke came on stage, it was difficult to imagine that she could top the Australian's com-edy routine.

With a name like Mary and her dressed like a proper, ladylike teacher, it felt like she was going to give the audience a lesson in-stead.

Armed with a Dan Brown book and Sudoku puzzle, Mary too jumped on the anti-Singapore bandwagon, comparing 'Kuala Lumpar's Brickfields' to the likes of "Paris in Springtime."

Born in Dublin during a cross fire hurricane, the wispy comedian also shared her thoughts on the com-plexities of relationships - with par-ents as well as partners.

Her love for books (she has also published numerous romantic novels) was ruined by the many 'wikipedia' moments in the routine. The comedian's finest moment was when she gave the audience a quick lesson on 'Yo Mama' jokes - which were intelligent, cur-rent and witty.

It was also amusing to see her play Sudoku everytime the crowd applauded and it was difficult to believe that this comic writer was once an ex-Burlesque dancer and choreographer.

Last (but certainly not least) on stage was Harith, who was the headliner for the April' edition of the Comedy Club. Harith, opened his act with a little anti-Justin Bie-ber sentiment and then went straight into the heart of the mat-ter - Singaporean jokes.

He raved about Malaysians' ability of choice (chaos), versus Singaporeans' need for rules (or-ganisation). As expected, these jokes worked like a charm on the audience, even the Singaporeans in the club looked amused.

Harith's actions and expres-sions were side-splitting for many in the audience especially those who haven't watched his comedy routine before.

For others, it was a sense of 'de ja vu', when the actor, director and writer recycled many of his old jokes. Still, he managed to hit the spot for many at the end of the evening.

View the original article here

Fat jokes hurt; they're not funny

Richard Simmons says he likes George Lopez, regrets joke he made about Kirstie AlleyHe says Alley can joke back, but he knows remark hurt her; he's suffered mocking himselfHe says he was called a "pig" as a youngster; it made him eat moreSimmons: Comedians may joke, but it hurts; they should realize they could spread insensitivityEditor's note: Richard Simmons is a popular health and fitness guru and Emmy-award winning TV personality. He operates the Slimmons exercise studio in Beverly Hills, California, is the author of several books, including cookbooks and an autobiography, and maker of exercise videos.

(CNN) -- I am a big fan of George Lopez. I think he is a terrific comedian. I have watched many of his shows, and they made me chuckle.

I was so sad to see the recent clip where Mr. Lopez made fun of Kirstie Alley's weight. I actually was shocked at what he had to say. And I felt very sad for him.

Kirstie has been up and down the scale many times, and right now she is on an upswing. She has lost 60 pounds getting ready for her appearance on "Dancing With the Stars," and she will continue to lose weight because she will be on the show for quite a while. She can joke all she wants in response to Mr. Lopez's unkind remarks, but I know they hurt her.

Kirstie Alley slams George Lopez for pig joke

You see, I know how Kirstie feels.

It was in the late '50s that someone in my grammar school called me " a big fat pig. " At first, I did not know what these guys meant. But it did not take long to figure it out.

And what do people do when they are called a fat pig? Eat.

I was so upset that day that I went home, fixed myself three fried bologna sandwiches and opened a large bag of potato chips. And while I was stuffing my face from sadness, I tried to figure out why on earth someone would be so cruel as to call me a name of a farm animal. And that was not the only name that the guys bullied me with. They called me fat cow. Once they went outside of the barnyard into the circus tent to call me an elephant.

But none of those names bothered me as much as "pig" did. Pigs ate all day and wallowed in mud. Why, that wasn't me!

The name calling continued in high school. It accelerated to some foul language that always came before the word pig. And I tried to look like I took it all in stride and tried not to let it bother me, but it did.

Comedians have told fat jokes for centuries. And you know who laughs at fat jokes don't you? Thin people. Overweight and obese people don't laugh hysterically when they hear a fat joke. Especially now, when there are more overweight and obese people in America, fat jokes have no place in our society.

When people in a position to influence the way other people think -- people who appear on TV in front of a big audience -- ridicule someone for the way they look, they are telling everyone watching that it's acceptable to do that. And that's not funny.

Fat jokes hurt people just like they hurt me beginning in sixth grade. I think of myself as not only a teacher but as a comedian. I love to make people laugh. Now, I tell a lot of jokes, but they are mostly making fun of me.

I hope in my lifetime we can all continue to laugh at ourselves and not put down anyone for what they weigh.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Richard Simmons

View the original article here

Why that April Fools' Day joke is funny

WINSTON-SALEM, N.C., April 1 (UPI) -- Practical jokes are not a guaranteed way to generate laughter on April Fools' Day, a U.S. professor who studies the complexities of humor says.

Cindy Gendrich of Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, N.C., who teaches the seminar, "Why Do People Laugh?" explores the psychological, physical and social benefits of laughter.

"Lots of theorists have observed that compassion is the enemy of humor -- from the Greeks to Henri Bergson. April Fools' Day jokes fall into the same category as watching an episode of the TV show 'Wipeout,'" Gendrich says in a statement. "Most of us stop laughing if someone gets hurt. The question my students grapple with is how we are sometimes able to turn our compassion buttons to 'mute.'"

The class studies what make someone or something an acceptable target for laughter.

"We may laugh more at April Fools' jokes if they seem somehow justified, but being the 'fool' is not always funny," Gendrich says. "Laughter has a lot to do with human relationships. We laugh to put people at ease, to show approval, to flirt, to contribute to the energy of an event or a moment, to tell people we are not dangerous, to show we 'get it'. We often laugh out of nervousness."

View the original article here

Workplace Jokes Aren?t Always Funny

Employees who tell jokes they’ve heard to colleagues often don’t realize they are inappropriate. However, the telling of a joke that hurts or offends is often the start of escalating steps of employment discrimination or harassment.

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Jokes and stories are probably the most common—and most preventable—forms of discrimination. Inappropriate jokes also may be passed through internal e-mails or by the posting of cartoons.

Colleagues often don’t have the courage to protest and tell the storyteller that they find a joke offensive to themselves or others.

Handling this problem at the lowest level of management is often the best prevention. Train managers so they can explain to their workers what is and isn’t appropriate in your workplace in relation to jokes or other statements about gender, race, religion, national origin, sexual orientation, disability, age, and other areas of discrimination.

Instruct managers to link the potential impact of discrimination, even if unintended, on the atmosphere of the workplace and “the trust factor” among co-workers.

Also have your managers review your employment policies about discrimination with workers and emphasize the disciplinary actions that can result when discrimination occurs.

View the original article here

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Jokes - Do I Have To Be Funny To Tell Funny Jokes?

Jokes jokes and more jokes means more laughs laughs laughs. Laughter is a sure sign of jolliness, happiness and enjoyment, so if telling jokes can create emotions and atmospheres as such then why is the whole world not telling more funny jokes at every opportunity

Even in the most miserable of mundane surroundings you can bet a bottom dollar if good jokes or gags are cracked then the atmosphere changes from gloomy into a jolly ambiance.

If you are in charge of an entertainment plan for a wedding, birthday party or anniversary, then, for the celebration to be a success you will need a good script of funny jokes. Jokes are funnier if actions are applied. Remember, actions speak louder than words. If it is your choice to take the part of a stand up comedienne, then so be it. If you are afraid of making a fool of yourself on stage, then better still because the more you act the goat the laughter gets louder when the punch line is delivered.

To keep the air filled with laughter keep the jokes rolling. When telling jokes. clean or dirty, you have to bear in mind that not everyone shares the same sense of humour, meaning, seeing the funny side of things, so therefore do a little research on what you feel is appropriate for your guests. Clean jokes are just as funny as dirty jokes. People can also be easily offended and embarrassed at joke material - so this is why it is important to check out your audience first. Racist's jokes should be avoided, telling racist's jokes can be disastrous which is understandable with the world as it is today, where sadly we have more crying than laughing.

Okay back to planning what party jokes you tend to use and how to present them, once again remember, actions speak louder than words when telling jokes and so do costumes. Dressing up can have your onlooker now see your funny jokes as being hilarious. Choosing the right costume will make all the difference so be careful at this point because, no matter how funny your jokes are, your outfit can send out other signals. For example: Take coco the clown who we expect to throw buckets of water over people, topple and take tumbles, okay this is fine if you want to play funny pranks on people, however it is not often you see a stand up comedienne dressed as a clown unless telling kiddies jokes.

Comediennes are usually remembered for their jokes and how they dress. Drag queens like Lily Savage, Danny La Rue and Dame Edna Everage became famous for their false identities (opposite sex). Then we had Max Wall famous for his walk and Freddie Frinton for his role of a drunk on stage. These are just a few ideas, however the more unique you are under the spotlight may just keep you in the spotlight if you wish to make a career out of telling funny jokes.

If you selected different jokes like Irish jokes, Scottish jokes or even parrot jokes, then at your side have a case filled with assorted wigs or instruments to use; these will help make your hilarious jokes come to life.

Some people are naturally talented when telling jokes, however for those who are not and find they have been nominated to entertain need not fret. All you do is watch a video of how other entertainers perform when telling jokes. Duplicate the jesters actions by standing in front of the mirror and practice, who knows you may even laugh at yourself at this point.

If you want the event to be a success then audience participation is definitely the way forward for guaranteed laughs. When calling upon a guest to join you on stage to help out with a trick or you tend on them being on the brunt end of your joke, then you must select that person with carefully, meaning, "Can they take a joke."

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How to Tell Jokes and Be Funny

Jokes are great ice breakers, mood lifters and a great source of happiness. There may be some people who are very talented when it comes to telling jokes but you can at least learn how to tell jokes and be funny.

Learning how to tell jokes and be funny can be a great skill. In fact, one of the characteristics that many women love in a man is a good sense of humor. Aside from that, many people love a funny man. Of course, nobody hates a man who can make them laugh. Aside from being a jolly companion, being funny can also make you an interesting speaker and life of the party.

Even if you are not a gifted comedian, it helps a lot to learn to tell funny jokes once in a while - to break the ice on meetings or on conversations, to be able to mingle with other people and to be more interesting. To help you with these, here are a few tips you can do.

Know your audience. It is important that you tell jokes to appropriate people and that you make sure you are crack a joke that is suited to your audience. Especially when it comes to jokes about stereotypes or ethnicity, you might want to be careful with who you are talking to before making a joke.

Find new jokes and don't just rely on those old jokes you have heard and probably everybody has heard before. This is one tip that you should keep in mind always if you want to be that funny guy. Although jokes are the most popular means of making everyone laugh, you can however find punch lines and one-liners that can also be great - and you can cultivate that if you have a talent for that.

Proper timing is also essential in learning how to tell jokes. If in a conversation you have thought about a joke that would be appropriate and of the right timing, don't wait that the atmosphere has died down before cracking that joke. It would not be funny anymore if your audience has already lost the momentum. Do not also be too eager to give all your best jokes at once. People would not be amused listening to the same old jokes over and over again, so give only jokes that are relevant to the situation at hand.

Be funny. If you want to learn how to tell jokes effectively, you have to learn how to be funny as well. Sometimes the intensity of your joke also depends on how funny you deliver them. Your facial expressions with a fun personality, it is a plus in trying to be funny.

Learn from others. The best teachers you can have on how to tell jokes effectively are the best comedians. Watch funny movies, read funny books. The more you are exposed to how great comedians deliver their jokes, the more you can learn from them. But do not duplicate them. Many people are most often disappointed in entertainers trying to be copycats of another - unless of course if you want to do an impression of a person.

Carolyn Anderson is also learning how to be a funny person. To learn ways on how to be funny and learn to tell jokes, check out How To Be Funny. Also check out Get Faxed, where you can find great ideas on how to add sketches to your fax and lighten the mood of your office.

Brighten Your Friend's Day with Funny Jokes

Funny jokes bring smiles to everyone, young or old, male or female. There are thousands of hilarious jokes available online so you never have to run out of funny things to send your family, friends, or coworkers.

Funny Jokes by Email - Finding Safe Jokes

With email you can send funny jokes to your friends or coworkers with the simple click of a mouse. Encouraging or funny emails always help relieve frustration during a busy workday. They bring laughs when someone's going through a stressful time. You might send funny blonde jokes to your blonde friend, or pass funny jokes about women, men, or bosses around to the men or ladies at work. There are also hilarious jokes about work, life, sex, rednecks, animals, and so forth.

Email jokes are popular, but beware of forwarding emails. Forwarding emails are emails that originate from an unknown person and begin circulating among friends via email. They often contain viruses, spy ware, or tracking codes that can hinder your computer's operation or even invade your privacy.

HINT: When sending funny jokes to friends and family, be sure to copy and paste your own set of jokes and attach your own images into the emails. Find a reputable joke site that allows you to use the available jokes so you won't have to worry about email viruses. You can read through the jokes in various categories and copy those you feel will make your friends laugh! Or, you can just send the link of the site to your friends so they can enjoy all the jokes.

Funny Videos

Everyone loves a funny video, as evidenced by the tremendous popularity of "America's Funniest Home Videos" over many years. People love to watch funny videos of funny animals, bleeps and blunders, sports blunders, practical jokes, funny accidents, and funny encounters. With the Internet, you can download funny videos for your own website and make the videos available to your website visitors. You can also download them and send the files by email or watch them on another site. You might want to make your own funny video and send it to friends and family as a joke or for a gag gift.

Funny Pictures

Another way to get some laughs with friends is to view funny pictures or pass them around by email. These can be pictures of animals, people, events, or anything that would strike someone as funny. Funny pictures can be converted to Internet files using a digital camera or digital files. They can be scanned into a computer, or if you're an artist, you might be able to draw some funny pictures.

Funny Business for Your Website

An idea for your business is to add funny pictures or funny videos to your website for visitors to watch or download. Find something funny that relates to your business. For example, if you own an insurance business, find a video or picture that uses humor to illustrate possible insurance needs. A man flipping into the air off his bike after hitting a curb is not really funny in life, but for potential insurance customers, it might bring a few laughs through a funny video. You'd be surprised at how these types of funny home videos or photos get attention and visitors!

Search online to find a funny joke site that offers written jokes, funny videos, funny pictures, and more. You can make your friends laugh every day of the week!

Chris Robertson is an author of Majon International, one of the worlds MOST popular internet marketing companies on the web. Learn more about Funny Jokes for Friends, Coworkers or Majon's Novelties directory.

Funny Jokes - A Way of Sharing Joy

There is no denying the fact that wit and humor are as essential in our daily lives as a fresh breath of air. We all crave for moments of joy and laughter and their presence indeed makes life a beautiful experience worth living. From the trivial activities marked and characterized by good humor to the extravagantly funny remarks that we so often encounter in our day to day life, laughter is indeed a much craved from of joyful expression and there is no better or faster way to provoke and produce laughter among individuals than by listening to or reading funny jokes.

If you are one those individuals who look for your daily comic strip in the newspaper first thing in the morning then you'll be delighted to find out that the world wide web is one platform that is full of free funny jokes and liners to put the joy back into your busy and hectic schedules.

Technology has enabled the expression of ideas and possibilities to an extent that we never imagined before.

We now have dedicated websites on the World Wide Web which provide individuals with a huge collection of free jokes. Jokes may be of many types and may belong to numerous categories. They may be related to professions such as medicine or engineering or they might as well be a simple humorous anecdote that you or someone else encountered in their day to day life. The basic idea behind all the kinds is simple and one- i.e. to provoke laughter. However, as the internet boasts a humongous database that is accessible by all and varied age groups and thought pools; it is quite possible that you may come across some crude jokes or disturbingly explicit humor not suitable for young adults. Furthermore, there might be jokes targeting certain ethnic groups or beliefs and sharing these jokes in public might provoke feelings of resentments and discord or even worse, might even hurt the feelings or a friend or a colleague. For this reason it is highly recommended that you opt for clean funny jokes instead of crude or dirty jokes.

Websites dedicated to providing good funny jokes to their users and visitors focus not only on casual funny events and pictures but also on children jokes and clean jokes that can be equally shared with family and friends without any hesitation. You will find funny jokes related to parenting, college jokes, school jokes, marriage jokes, bar jokes, home jokes, miscellaneous jokes, one-liners etc.

Jokes not only help people smile while relieving them of their numerous stresses and strains but they actually help individuals recover their health by improving their moods and general outlook towards life. Funny jokes are an excellent way of sharing joy and laughter with your loved ones, be it parties or get-togethers or whether you are enjoying a tranquil moment alone in your favorite spot at home.

To learn more about Funny Jokes please visit http://www.smilejokes.com

Dead Baby Jokes - Why Are They Funny?

There are over 100 well known dead baby jokes out there. Every single one is disgusting, violent, tasteless, offensive and (for some people) utterly hilarious. Those who don't find dead baby jokes funny are often disgusted and perplexed as to why anyone would find them funny.

It begs the question: Why are jokes about dead babies so funny?

Honestly, I don't think I'm going to be able to give you an answer that will satisfy your curiosity, or mine. When it comes down to it, no one is exactly sure why anything is funny. Those who have theories about humor paint an incredibly dark picture about human nature; which isn't surprising at all!

Though there are critics of Freud's ideas on humor, I personally think he was onto something. Basically, in his mind, society represses ideas and we tuck them away in our subconscious. Then, jokes allow all that gooey, forbidden goodness into our conscious minds and tickles our noodles. We laugh and feel happy because we really pulled one over on society.

While that theory may explain why racist jokes, perverted jokes, dead baby jokes, etc. are funny, it isn't a perfect theory. It doesn't really explain how in the world "Why did the chicken cross the road?" became so famous. Perhaps crossing roads for the sake of getting to the other side was taboo at some point.

Another thing about jokes that may explain their hilarity is that they send us into rabid hallucinations. Then, when the punchline is delivered our minds get shocked with something unexpected. People love it when their imaginations create silly images followed by a kick in the groin. The hallucinations aren't real so people feel safer about the joke, no matter how violent and awful the contents of it may be.

Jokes give us a chance to take the most awful and terrible things in life and turn them into absurdities. When someone tells a racist joke, it doesn't necessarily mean they are a racist. When someone tells a perverted joke, it doesn't necessarily mean that they subjugate women or are incapable of love. And when someone tells a dead baby joke, it doesn't necessarily mean that they hate babies, dead or alive. (After all, they're so delicious!) After all, asking why a chicken crossed a road doesn't mean that that person loves or hates chickens or roads. Nor does telling a knock-knock joke mean that the person loves or hates doors, knocking, or idiots.

So, why are jokes funny? Does it really matter? Does anyone really care? Is anyone still reading this?

All I can say is that all jokes are funny to someone and aren't funny to others. For some people, offensive jokes aren't personally offensive at all but are just an absurd string of words. For others, chickens on the road, people knocking on doors, priests walking into bars, and blonde people are hilarious. No matter where your humor lies in the comedy spectrum, don't look down on those who don't laugh when you do. If you do, you may actually find yourself to be the butt of a joke that makes you out to be the stinker.

Brandon Eden is the singer, guitarist, and songwriter of BrandonEden.Com, an independent music project both praised and reviled for the "Dead Baby Song." He's been playing/writing music and studying human behavior for more than a decade. For more info, visit BrandonEden.Com.

Funny Wedding Speech Jokes to Use and Tips and Tricks on How to Deliver Them With Ease

Not all of us are stand up comedians and can deliver funny wedding speech jokes with ease. Let's face it a wedding speech without a joke or to is sooo booooringgggg!! In any speech it is often more about WHAT NOT TO SAY opposed to WHAT TO SAY.

WHAT NOT TO SAY - This is fairly easy - do not include any embarrassing stories like past girlfriends, ex-wives, bad relationships and break-ups, unpleasant family members and not-so-good times.

WHAT TO SAY - No wedding speech is perfect unless you include some funny and interesting incidents about the bride and groom. Of course you should include some good jokes. The real trick lies in the delivery of the joke. Not everyone can pull off a good joke, and it is best to prepare beforehand.

Tips and Tricks On How To Deliver Funny Wedding Speech Jokes


Prepare yourself mentally before your big speech

Memorize all your funny wedding jokes, especially the opening and closing lines

Don't "uhm and ahh" during your speech and embarrass yourself

Practice your jokes beforehand on family and friends and ask their input

Experiment with different facial expressions you can use to enhance the effect of your joke

Vary the tone of your voice to emphasize certain parts in your joke

Choose the right moment to deliver your jokes

Always deliver your wedding jokes with humor in your voice and a smile on your face

Be careful not to overdo it and pepper your speech with jokes. You also want to include meaningful and inspiring wedding quotations and other words in your speech. A good speech always contain elements of humor and sentiment. Keep in mind that people will react differently on jokes. You might find a joke funny but it may not be funny to others. Pick your jokes carefully. It is best to stay away from any jokes related to religious, politics or sex. Make sure the wedding jokes you use are fresh, classy and above board.

Funny Wedding Speech Jokes To Use


"A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds reading: "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

"It's not that the groom is lazy, but marriage is an expensive way to get laundry done for free."

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

By using these tips to deliver funny wedding speech jokes your speech will be entertaining and memorable. For more great jokes and wedding speech examples visit http://www.weddingspeechesandtoasts.net for an unforgettable wedding speech!

SMS Jokes and Funny Sayings to Cheer Up Your Mood

It is scientifically proven that in order to stay healthy, both physically as well as mentally, laughter along with active sense of humor is best medicine ever and there is no better way to make you smile than jokes and funny sayings. Jokes can be explained as small stories that end with a laughably startling speech. Jokes give us our daily dosage of laughter and bring happiness and joy in our life. So to keep your mind fit and healthy read funny SMS jokes.

With the advent of SMS technology, now one needs not to be physically present in order share humor with each other. One can use his cell phone and send SMS jokes to friends, family and all near and dear ones and bring smile on their face. What are SMS Jokes? They can be defined as two or three liner jokes which are especially designed to be sent via text messaging. You need to read and remember these SMS jokes in order to share them with your mates. 

You can found thousand of websites in the World Wide Web. Whatever type of text jokes you are looking for, be it daily joke, birthday jokes, funny jokes, dirty jokes, funny sayings jokes or Hindi jokes, you are sure to get it on the internet. You can go to any search engine and search for the joke you are looking for. If you want to have fun with your friends, then you can search for funny or dirty jokes. If you need some for your friend's birthday then you can search for birthday jokes or if you want to be naughty with girlfriend or boyfriend, then you can go for naughty ones.

 In order to use these websites effectively, you should copy your favorite jokes in notepad or WordPad so that you won't face any difficulty in case of unavailability of internet. You can also make your own compilation of your favorite jokes on internet which can be accessed by the whole world or by the person you want without spending even a little penny. There are so much service available online allows you to create web pages free of cost. You can use blogger, Wordpress or Google pages to make a webpage where you can collect all of your favorite sms jokes on all topics. 

Hence, sending SMS Jokes is best way to spread the humor around the world. It let you forget all the routine stress of life. On the whole, sending jokes and funny sayings via SMS is a best way to instill some fun in our lives.

Manish kapoor is webmaster of SMS Jokes and Funny Sayings website.

Great Examples of Best Man Speech Jokes and One-Liners to Make Your Speech Funny and Entertaining

Best man speech jokes are used to make a best man speech more funny and entertaining to the wedding guests. Not all of us has a wicked sense of humor, but keeping a few tips in mind can help you to prepare and deliver a stunning and entertaining speech. Normally it is expected of the best man to be funny and hilarious and roast the groom. The golden rule of any best man speech is to have the perfect mixture of humor and sentiment. It is up to you to make sure you deliver a memorable speech and keep the guests entertained. Lets have a look at some Do's and Don'ts of Best Man Speech Jokes.

Do's Of Best Man Speech Jokes

- Keep your jokes short, catchy, funny and to-the-point

- Practice your jokes beforehand on some friends

- Vary your voice when telling jokes and use different facial expressions

- Build up to the punchline of your jokes steadily and slowly

- Deliver your jokes at the right moment - Critical!!

Don't of Best Man Speech Jokes

- Don't litter your speech with jokes

- Don't use any rude or crude jokes in your speech

- Don't use any jokes relating to sex. religion or politics

- Don't tell any embarrassing jokes or stories about the couple

- Don't use old, rehashed and cliched jokes

Great Best Man Speech One-Liners

It is usually best to start your speech with a funny and punchy one-liner. This will act as a great ice-breaker and set the mood for the rest of your speech. One liners are perfect, because they are short and to the point. Make sure the one-liners you use flow easily and naturally into your speech. Tie your one-liners to the groom or couple and put your personal touch to it. Here is a few examples of one liners you can use in your speech:


"Before marriage a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it." - Helen Roland

"In order to be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little; To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all."

Use Some Funny Best Man Speech Jokes

When using jokes in your speech be careful and make sure they don't embarrass or offend anyone. Keep your jokes clean, classy and in good taste. The groom is probably your best friend and should remain so even after your speech. Pick jokes related to the wedding and make sure your deliver them with a bang! Here is some funny best man speech jokes you can use in your speech:

Marrying a man is like something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get home, but it doesn"t always go with everything in the house." - Jean Kerr
Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them. - Sydney Smith

When you deliver your best man jokes put a smile on your face and humor in your voice. Give the guests some time to enjoy your joke before moving on with your speech. Best man speech jokes and one-liners are the perfect way to include some humor in your speech to make if funny and entertaining.

For more funny and hilarious best man speech jokes as well as wedding speech templates,one liners, and meaningful wedding quotations visit http:/www.weddingspeechesand toasts.net for all the resources you need to write an amazing and entertaining best man speech in just a few minutes!

Funny Jokes

Without the fun, humor and laughter that jokes bring, the world will be all frowns. Funny jokes are created to reflect life in unusual, hilarious and entertaining ways. A good laugh is as infectious as funny jokes are impacting to life. In adding humor to life's experiences, funny jokes make the world worth smiling. The laughter that funny jokes bring makes people feel like a kid again and cope with difficult situations by looking at the lighter side of any circumstance in life. Funny jokes bring simple pleasures in life as they present a classic way of keeping people entertained.

One thing that is great about funny jokes is that it gives people a great way to channeling life's negativity and turning it into something that is constructive. It uses your pain as the basis of humor, your cynics as your wits, and it uses puns for its punch lines. Funny jokes provide you with a constructive use of your lies, untruths and frustrations. It brings a sense of release that prevents all the negativity from getting hold up inside you. In many ways, funny jokes make life more bearable and worth smiling about.

There's no better way to pass idle time, coffee break, recess or time outs than by sharing funny jokes. One way of bonding with your peers, co-workers and family is through funny conversations. Whatever is a conversation without funny jokes? Adding funny elements in conversations is one effective treat in keeping people engaged in a conversation. It works like caffeine. It stimulates everybody's senses. It makes us think. It pushes us to best one another with a better joke.

The act of creating a funny joke is fail-safe. You can do no wrong in attempting to create or narrate a story with the intension of making people laugh. The general response for jokes would be laughter if not a slight twitch of smile on the face of onlookers or listeners. If a joke did not get any response, the joke is called flat. But even flat jokes make people laugh as much as funny jokes do. You see, no one can do wrong in making his own versions of jokes. It even does not have rules or methods to follow. Just follow your thoughts, stay with it, make fun with it and narrate it. Surely, your thoughts will work out a funny joke.

We have seen enough movies to see that funny guys get the pretty ladies and funny men end up lucky. Even funny cartoon characters are given happy endings. We have seen enough reality show to say that the key to being famous is by being featured in a funny video. Being funny is the key to getting a head in life people! Now there's a simple funny joke.

Creating and delivering a funny joke is an innate ability that humans have, although some chose not to explore those innate skills. A good joke can simply be created by just telling an honest story about your life. As the cliché goes, "be yourself". Don't be afraid to make fun of yourself once in a while. Life was not created to get people uptight. Just lay back and let your thoughts flow. Engage some friends in a simple conversation and start talking. You'll be surprised; the jokes will just roll out of your mouth.

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Funny One Line Jokes And Stand-Up Comedy Acts

Jokes are the most widespread form of buffoonery, probably because a joke is self-contained and the easiest device with which to trigger off laughter. Funny one line jokes are great and a bout of helpless laughter is highly prized in the modern world, it's today's equivalent of a swig of booze, not curing pain and worry but obscuring the symptoms for a few brief moments. Funny one line jokes are the nearest thing in life to complete escapism next to the climax of making love.

Telling jokes are how, the most social and professional comedians ventilate different anxieties and confirm our racial and other prejudices, it has been said, for every joke there is a sufferer. Laughing at our worries reduces their threat to us. And laughing at silly people who are not as bright or rich as we are makes us feel warm and secure. So the effect of buffoonery and funny one line jokes is opposite to that of classical comedy. In classical comedy, the aim of laughter is to benefit the person laughed at. With funny one line jokes, the laugh measures the laughter.

In between wit, buffoonery and funny one line jokes, lies the third and as far as comedy is concerned, the most interesting subdivision of comedy humor. If wit belongs mainly to the Well educated classes and buffoonery to the lower classes, humor and funny one line jokes is middle class. In medieval times a 'humor' was any of the four cardinal fluids - blood, phlegm, choler, and melancholy, or black bile which coursed round the body and according to their relative, determined a person's mental and physical state.

When one of the fluids is predominated, then a person's character was dominated by that particular 'humor'. He would become either over passionate (too much blood), dull and droopy (overdose of phlegm), quick-tempered and irascible (choler flowing too strongly), or gloomy and dejected (a touch too much of the melancholy, or black bile). Such a man was said to be in a 'humor'. Or, if he carried on behaving peculiarly, to be a 'humorist'.

Helped by the efforts of some industry greats, humor and funny one line jokes in its new meaning took root and became favored light reading amongst Augustan Age Literate Citizens, who were mostly from the rapidly expanding middle-classes. Humor, mostly due to funny one line jokes, long before it had a name, was not the invention of Greek playwrights or patrician Roman poets but of ordinary people and is the oldest of the three divisions of comedy, probably dating back to when the cave man first stood upright in the cave and knocked himself senseless, and the others laughed and told all the others about it. Then came along the funny one line jokes.

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Sending Funny But Clean SMS (Short Message Service) Jokes

If there is one thing mobile phones are useful for, it is sending SMS (Short Message Service) or popularly known as text messages. Aside from the fact that it is cheaper than making calls, people are finding other ways to use the text messages feature such as forwarding love quotes and short funny jokes. Most of the time, my friends are sending me forwarded jokes because they know I am in to funny stuff. Some of the jokes that they sent me are funny and some of them well, lets just say you have to be smart enough to get it. Forwarded jokes can be about anything such as dirty or clean jokes.

Most of the clean jokes that I find funny are the dialogue types. Like a dad and his son having a conversation about being a man, then realizing that his son is into Barbie or something. There are also others where they insult famous people like the president (if he or she has the reputation of being dumb), or it can be about old school jokes such as a knock knock joke. Today, people are finding other ways to make their joke exciting or having a suspense part for the punch line. For example, a joke is in a form of question. You do not see the answer right away. You need to scroll down first in order for you to read the punch line.

Sending funny SMS (Short Message Service) jokes is just a way of making people laugh just by the use of their mobile phones. The reaction of the people may not be the same as they can either find the joke offensive, too corny, or find it really funny. So just be careful of sending those SMS (Short Message Service) messages and make sure that it would not be over the line. As much as possible, try to avoid making fun of religion, unless it is something light which people can get it right away. Normally when we receive funny SMS (Short Message Service) jokes, it gives us laughter even though your day is not going the way you want it to be today. In other words, you are having a bad day and reading jokes would not be that bad to make you smile even just for a little bit.

So go on, text those funny but clean jokes to your friends or your family and make them laugh for them to know that life is simple and does not have to be hard all the time. All it takes is one SMS (Short Message Service) to make a person smile.

If you want to get some clean funny jokes to use in your short text messages you can go to Clean Short Funny Jokes Collection or you are always welcome to submit your own one liner jokes.