2011年6月8日 星期三

Laugh Lines

JAY LENO

President Obama’s approval rating falling again. It has gotten so bad that at the White House Easter Egg Roll, instead of rolling the eggs, the kids egged the White House.

Today was the big Easter Egg Roll at the White House. Things were a little different this year, because every time one of the kids would find an egg, First Lady Michelle Obama would make them trade it in for a low-cholesterol egg beater.

DAVID LETTERMAN

Excited about the royal wedding? Some people not invited to the wedding. Gordon Brown not invited to the wedding. Tony Blair not invited to the wedding. Also not invited but going anyway, the Salahis.

JIMMY FALLON

A new study found that Americans spend $1.2 trillion every year on stuff they don’t need. Or as Republicans call it, “health care.”

JON STEWART

President Obama has released a copy of his long-form birth certificate. I repeat, for those just tuning in, the current president of the United States, who after being born in the United States and becoming that country’s president, has released the nonlegally required version of the legally required birth certificate he had previously released.


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