2011年6月13日 星期一

Jokes, gaffes as NSW parliament opens

MANILA, Philippines — Making bomb jokes in Manila could land you in jail, if an ordinance passes in the city council.


The proposed ordinance, authored by Manila Second District Councilor Rodolfo Lacsamana, has been approved on first reading.


It imposes a jail term of three days and a fine of P5,000 on persons who shall cause or stir public anxiety or fear by making calls or statements of a false bomb threats in public places in the city.


“Considering the seriousness of the matter, the panic it will cause after the threat which insensitive people will think is funny, the person who makes it should be held liable. The threat of a bomb is no longer an object of humor nowadays. People have died because of bombs,” Lacsamana told the Manila Bulletin.


“Simply put, a joke could not only throw you in jail, but also cost you R5,000 in penalties,” he said.

2011年6月12日 星期日

Trump on WHCD jokes against him: ‘Is there anyone else they could talk about?’

On Fox News on Sunday, Donald Trump responded to the barrage of jokes hurled against him at Saturday night’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner, which Trump attended.

While he expected some ribbing, Trump said he had no idea that he would be nearly the “sole focus” of the evening’s attacks.

“I really understood what I was getting into, I didn’t know that I’d be virtually the sole focus, I guess when you’re leading in most of the polls that tends to happen,” Trump said. “I had no idea it would be to that extent, where you know, it was just joke after joke after joke. It was almost like, is there anyone else they could talk about? So in a certain way I was honored, but you know again the economy is having such a, it’s going through such a traumatic period, I was thinking to myself, it just seems inappropriate.”

President Barack Obama poked fun at Trump, who was the most prominent critic of the president’s refusal to release his long-form birth certificate in the weeks before the Obama ultimately opted to do so last Tuesday.

“No one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than The Donald,” Obama quipped at last night’s dinner. “That’s because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter, like: did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?”

Comedian Seth Meyers also targeted Trump during his act, saying, “Donald Trump often talks about running as a Republican, which is surprising. I just assumed he was running as a joke.”

But Trump fired back at Meyers as well on Sunday.

“I thought Seth Meyers, frankly his delivery was not good, he’s a stutterer and he really was having a hard time,” Trump said on Fox News.

Watch: Trump speaks out on WHCD

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Obama Jokes About Birthers, Poll Numbers and 2012 Candidates

Is he a real American? Is he Rocky? Is he the Lion King?

President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama attend the White House Correspondents? Association Dinner in Washington, Saturday, April 30, 2011. (AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta)

President Barack Obama used the jocularity of the White House Correspondents Dinner to poke fun at the birthers, the 2012 GOP candidates, and even his own slumping popularity in a standup speech that ended on a solemn note, as he talked about the “unimaginable devastation” of the tornado damage he saw Friday? in Alabama.


First, though, it was all fun. He opened his routine with a video, set to the Hulk Hogan theme song “I’m a Real American,” that combined images of his long-form birth certificate with iconic Americana: an eagle, Rocky, Mount Rushmore, an apple pie.


“What a week it’s been,” he said afterward, telling the audience he had a special treat: a never-seen-before video of his birth in 1961. What flashed on the screen, to much hilarity in the ballroom, was the birth scene from the Lion King movie.


“I want to make clear to the Fox News table,” he said. “That was a joke.”


Before a room packed with celebrities, lawmakers, journalists, and more than a few likely 2012 contenders, Mr. Obama proceeded to take shots at himself: “I think it’s fair to say with my presidency, the honeymoon is over.”


And: “Others say that I’m arrogant. But I found a really great self-help tool for this; my poll numbers.”


Then he let it rip on everyone from Donald Trump to Rep. Paul Ryan, the Republican Budget Committee chairman whose austere spending plan recently passed the House.


“His budget has no room for laughter,” Mr. Obama said.


Riffing on the theme of their own possible foreignness, he took swipes at a slew of 2012 GOP challengers, including Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota, former Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty and his just-returned ambassador to China, former Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman.


“He didn’t learn Chinese to go there,” Mr. Obama said of Mr. Hunstman. “He learned English to come here.”


Mr. Trump, who has done more than anyone to stir questions about the president’s birthplace and was there to laugh along, got the most barbs.


The New York real estate developer, the president said, has now moved on to other mysteries, like “did we fake the moon landing?”


And: “what really happened at Roswell?”


The comedic host for the evening, Saturday Night Live’s lead writer, Seth Meyers, stole the show with a batch of bipartisan one-liners.


Mr. Pawlenty was what you found when you looked up “boring” in the dictionary. Mr. Trump “says he running as a Republican, which I found surprising, because I thought he was running as a joke.”


Mr. Meyers also made fun of how the president had aged, and changed politically, since his election in 2008.


“If your hair gets any whiter,” he said, turning to the president, “the tea party is going to endorse you.”


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2011年6月11日 星期六

President Obama Cracking Jokes at Washington Hilton

D.C. Council Member says demand for legal firearms in the city is low.

A high school teacher in Frederick, Maryland has been named 2011 National Teacher of the Year by the Council of Chief State School Officers.


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Obama makes jokes about Trump at journalists' dinner

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – President Barack Obama told jokes at the expense of real estate mogul Donald Trump Saturday night, mocking his possible presidential ambitions in remarks at the annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner.

With Trump in the hotel ballroom audience of celebrities, politicians and journalists, Obama zeroed in on talk fueled by Trump that the president was not U.S.-born.

Obama Wednesday released a longer version of his birth certificate to answer some Republicans including Trump who claim he was not native born and therefore ineligible to be president, and blasted "carnival barkers" who refuse to let the issue die.

Trump has seized on the issue while testing the waters for a possible 2012 run for the Republican presidential nomination. Obama, a Democrat, is running for re-election next year.

"Donald Trump is here tonight. And I know that he's taken some flak lately. But no one is happier, no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than 'The Donald,'" Obama said, using Trump's nickname.

"And that's because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter. Like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?" Obama added, drawing laughs and applause,

Roswell refers to an incident in the vicinity of Roswell, New Mexico, where, according to some theories, an object that crashed in 1947 was an extra-terrestrial spacecraft carrying alien occupants. Biggie Smalls and Tupac Shakur were rap stars whose deaths are the subject of continuing controversy.

'WELL HANDLED, SIR'

Obama suggested that Trump's biggest decisions typically involve the trademark firings he routinely carries out on his reality television show "Celebrity Apprentice" such as when he dumped actor Gary Busey.

"These are the kinds of decisions that would keep me up at night," Obama deadpanned. "Well handled, sir. Well handled."

Trump grinned, pursing his lips and looking uncomfortable.

"I think we all know about your credentials and breadth of experience," Obama said of Trump, drawing laughs.

"Say what you want about Mr. Trump," the president added. "He certainly would bring change to the White House."

Big video screens in the ballroom then flashed an image of what was labeled "Trump, The White House," spoofing the famed businessman's practice of naming buildings after himself.

It portrayed a hotel-casino-golf course with bikini-clad girls frolicking in the fountain that adorns a White House lawn and gold columns substituted at the front for white ones.

Trump has made a series of controversial comments as he mulls a presidential campaign and ripped Obama and other U.S. political leaders in a profanity-laced speech in Las Vegas this week, calling them "stupid."

Also coming in for ribbing from Obama were Tim Pawlenty, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney and Jon Huntsman -- all potential Republican challengers for the White House in 2012.

(Editing by Greg McCune and Will Dunham)


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2011年6月10日 星期五

Obama makes jokes about Trump


 

WASHINGTON - President Barack Obama told jokes at the expense of U.S. real estate mogul Donald Trump Saturday night, mocking his possible presidential ambitions in remarks at the annual White House Correspondents? Association dinner.

With Trump in the hotel ballroom audience of celebrities, politicians and journalists, Obama zeroed in on talk fueled by Trump that the president was not U.S.-born.

Obama Wednesday released a longer version of his birth certificate to answer some Republicans including Trump who claim he was not native born and therefore ineligible to be president, and blasted ?carnival barkers? who refuse to let the issue die.

Trump has seized on the issue while testing the waters for a possible 2012 run for the Republican presidential nomination. Obama, a Democrat, is running for re-election next year.

?Donald Trump is here tonight. And I know that he?s taken some flak lately. But no one is happier, no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than ?The Donald,?? Obama said, using Trump?s nickname.

?And that?s because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter. Like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?? Obama added, drawing laughs and applause,

Roswell refers to an incident in the vicinity of Roswell, New Mexico, where, according to some theories, an object that crashed in 1947 was an extra-terrestrial spacecraft carrying alien occupants. Biggie Smalls and Tupac Shakur were rap stars whose deaths are the subject of continuing controversy.

'WELL HANDLED, SIR'

Obama suggested that Trump?s biggest decisions typically involve the trademark firings he routinely carries out on his reality television show ?Celebrity Apprentice? such as when he dumped actor Gary Busey.

?These are the kinds of decisions that would keep me up at night,? Obama deadpanned. ?Well handled, sir. Well handled.?

Trump grinned, pursing his lips and looking uncomfortable.

?I think we all know about your credentials and breadth of experience,? Obama said of Trump, drawing laughs.

?Say what you want about Mr. Trump,? the president added. ?He certainly would bring change to the White House.?

Big video screens in the ballroom then flashed an image of what was labeled ?Trump, The White House,? spoofing the famed businessman?s practice of naming buildings after himself.

It portrayed a hotel-casino-golf course with bikini-clad girls frolicking in the fountain that adorns a White House lawn and gold columns substituted at the front for white ones.

Trump has made a series of controversial comments as he mulls a presidential campaign and ripped Obama and other U.S. political leaders in a profanity-laced speech in Las Vegas this week, calling them ?stupid.?

Also coming in for ribbing from Obama were Tim Pawlenty, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney and Jon Huntsman ? all potential Republican challengers for the White House in 2012.


2011年6月9日 星期四

Video: President Obama jokes about Trump, citizenship

NEW YORK, April 7 (UPI) -- Technology trackers said Thursday that U.S. retail giant Toys "R" Us would soon be selling Apple's hot-selling iPad2.


Web site ModMyi reported that a Toys "R" Us employee had sent it training material for iPad2 sales.


The material reviews iPad2 features and lists "accessories available at 'R' Us."


Intomobile reported the device is available at 10,000 retail outlets, including Walmart, Target, Best Buy and Radio Shack. Toys "R" Us also carries Apple's iPod.


A recent survey showed a move to a Toys "R" Us customer base might be a wise move for Apple. A Piper Jaffray survey said 20 percent of teenagers recently indicated they intended to buy a computer tablet within the next six months.


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