COMMENTARY | I've been following the Maria Shriver-Arnold Schwarzenegger drama. I'm concerned about Maria, but also Christopher, the agemate of Patty Baena and Arnold's love child. Recent pictures in Radar of Maria and kids prompted "fat kid" jokes about Christopher (see comments section at the end of the article).
There's a good idea; focus on the boy's weight. Make rude remarks about a kid who is already struggling. Parents divorce, dad's infidelity and now finding he has a brother his own age and it's not his mom's child. Because Christopher's weight is so relevant to the issue?
Having celebrity parents isn't easy. Mr. Universe may be a great body builder, but it must not be easy to live with. Especially if you are going through that awkward age. At age 13, you could look like a Greek god and you'd still have things you hate about yourself. It comes with the territory. The only way out is through.
To have a constant reminder of physical perfection (aka dad) in your face constantly would make any teen miserable. To be constantly compared to dad's sculpted physique when your own body and hormones are in major upheaval would be devastating.
Before people start with the "chunky," "chubby," "fat" and "overweight" labels, let me just call to mind a little thing called puberty? In many families, children between the ages of 8 or 9 and 15 or so, go through a pudgy stage.
Call it baby fat or midriff bulge, some kids go through adolescent weight gain. Those kids may have been normal-sized or even skinny as little kids, it doesn't matter. What's important is that they will pass through that chubby phase and emerge thin. The duckling becomes the swan.
Even some doctors don't get puberty changes. They compare kids to charts rather than looking at family biometrics or just common sense. Our older son went through a fat time. We were seeing a chiropractor who said that I should put him on a 1,500 calorie diet. I spoke with an herbalist friend and told her about the doctors concerns. She advised me that if I put him on a diet now, when he might get too thin as he finished growing.
She explained that the body makes that "puppy fat" as a reserve for growing. Sure enough, when he went to Canada with Grandma and Grandpa that summer, he shot up and dropped about 20 pounds.
It helps if parents encourage good eating habits and exercise. It helps if parents model healthy lifestyles. But even if the kid plays video games, sleeps all the time and drinks too much Mountain Dew, the transformation often still happens. It especially happens, if this is a normally active kid who gets good nutrition. Kids are inordinately lazy in puberty, because their bodies are developing. All that change is exhausting.
My second son spent most of his 13-year-old summer crabby, reading in bed and playing Runescape. We knew that this wasn't usual for him and attributed it to puberty. He came back to school having lost about 30 pounds. His classmates didn't recognize him.
I personally think the chubby age is a lovely time in a person's life. I've been a middle school teacher for years and met hundreds of kids. At that age, kids are enthusiastic, eager and full of ideas. They are learning to be caring and compassionate. Just by looking at the photo, with his mother on his arm, I think Christopher must be a pretty neat kid.
Marilisa Kinney Sachteleben writes from 22 years parenting four children and 25 years teaching K-8, special education, adult education and home-school.
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