Two buddies, John and Bill, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly John throws up all over himself.
“Oh, no. Now Julie will kill me!”
Bill says, “Don’t worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your shirt pocket, tell Sheila that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill.”
So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker. Eventually John rolls into home and Julie starts to give him a hard time.
“You reek of alcohol and you’ve puked all over yourself! My God, you’re disgusting!”
Speaking very carefully so as not to slur, John says, “Nowainaminit, I can e’splain everytin! Ish snot wha chew tink. I only had a cuppla drrrinks. But thiss other guy got ssick on me. He had one too many and he juss couldin hold hizz liquor. He said he was ver rry sorry an’ gave me twenny bucks for da cleanin’ bill!”
Julie looks in the breast pocket and says, “But this is forty bucks.”
“Oh, yeah…I almos’ fergot, he shhhit in my pants, too!
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